finding your voice

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find your voice

“Cover bands don’t change the world –
you need to find your unique voice if you want to thrive.”
~ Accidental Creative

I am part of an exciting process at work that is looking for ways to help leaders find their voice and make a significant contribution through their lives. This is one of my heart passions and a fitting application for my 2014 word – fulfill. I believe that we are each created with incredible value, opportunity and responsibility to make a positive contribution in our world.

We can only do this if we are at peace with who we are – not constantly comparing with others or imitating someone else – and when we courageously speak out and step up for what we believe.

“Learn what taps your talents and fuels your passion
– that rises out of a great need in the world that you feel drawn by conscience to meet – therein lies your voice, your calling, your soul’s code.”
~ Steven Covey

Finding your voice is about more than mere words. Steven Covey explains that Voice is the overlapping of the four parts of our nature: our body, mind, heart, and spirit.

Accidental Creative put together a great list of questions to help each person discover their Voice. I’ve changed them just a bit. I’ve been thinking about these:

1. What kinds of situations “fire you up” or make you “pound the table”? What evokes compassionate anger in you or makes you want to intervene to correct a wrong?

2. What makes you cry?

3. What have you mastered? What can you do well, without effort, without thinking? What skills and abilities would you like to use more?

4. What gives you hope? What vision do you have for your future and the future of others?

5. As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? What did you dream of doing?

6. If you had all the time and money in the world – no limitations – what would you do?

7. What do you love doing? What makes you come alive? What makes you excited and motivated? 

8. Where can you start today? What platform do you already have? 

9.  What need can you serve? What change would you like to see in the world?

10. If you had one day left, how would you spend it?

You are important. You are needed. Your contribution is valuable. Find your voice… and then help someone else find theirs!

What have you been created to do? What is your Voice?

____________

Great resources!

Steven Covey’s post on Four Steps to Finding your Voice

Accidental Creative’s post on Ten Questions that will Help You Find Your Voice

life story inspiration

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Starbucks coffeeStarbucks is my coffee of choice. I always order the same thing – a “grande” house blend, bold, with no room for cream. Every now and then, I accompany my coffee with a healthy oatmeal or a not-so-healthy cinnamon scone. I enjoy the community atmosphere, the comfortable seating for reading or study, and becoming a “regular” when I frequent the same Starbucks for any length of time. I especially like feeling “known” when the barista begins to pour my personal choice before I even reach the counter.

Given my affection for the coffee, I was excited to read about the Starbucks story in a book about authentic leadership¹. A man named Howard Schultz created the Starbucks atmosphere we know today. Schultz wanted to offer a coffee-house with the community feel he had experienced in the espresso bars he visited in Milan, Italy.

“The reservoir of all my life experiences
shaped me as a person and a leader.”
                                              ~Howard Schultz

In addition to community, Schultz integrated other life values into the Starbucks culture. Schultz was born in 1957, and he grew up in Brooklyn, New York, living in the Bayview Housing Projects. As the son of a blue-collar delivery truck driver and a stay-at-home mom, finances were always tight, especially after his dad injured his ankle and lost his job and their health insurance. There was no workman’s compensation in those days, and an injured driver was useless and dispensable.

Those years of struggle etched deeply in Schultz’s memory and compelled Schultz’s vision to lead a company that valued and respected the staff and offered higher pay, stock options, and health care benefits even to part-time employees.

Schultz’s story built his character. From his mother, Schultz heard many times that he could do anything he wanted. When Schultz saw his father’s lack of success and accompanying bitterness, Schultz developed a fear failure and self defeat, and became driven to achieve and succeed.

“You must have the courage
to follow an unconventional path.”
                                        ~Howard Schultz

Over the years, Schultz intentionally “re-framed” his opinion of his father and chose to emulate his father’s integrity, work ethic and commitment to family. Schultz learned to appreciate his story of family hardship as the source of his values and his motivations, and to this day Schultz remembers his humble beginnings and intentionally integrates his story into his leadership and his company.

I am learning to “re-frame” many of my life experiences too; letting go of hurts and bitterness and choosing to emphasize and apply the positive character traits that I gained as a result of struggle and hard times.

Whenever I drink my coffee now, I try to remember how my life story can inspire my leadership.

What experiences from your life story inspire you?

___________

¹More details of this story (and others) are found in the excellent book, True North: Discover Your Authentic Leadership by Bill George.

tributo a un amor

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IMG_5818 smallJesse amó abundante, creativa y sacrificialmente. Un hombre con fallas y debilidades humanas, le entregó todo su corazón a mi mamá cuando se casó con ella. Nunca hubo duda alguna – su amor fue grandioso – podría haber sido su mayor testimonio en esta tierra – su incuestionable amor por ella.

Siempre me impresionó que nunca salió de la casa sin darle un beso de despedida a mi mamá. Ellos disfrutaron tiempo juntos – vacaciones familiares, sembrar flores, viajes a la playa, reuniones con amigos de antaño. Placeres simples llenaron sus últimos días – caminatas tranquilas para ver a los patos del estanque cercano, ver deportes por la TV, un día en el casino.

Le compró todo lo que creyó que la haría feliz. Quería consentirla y devolvía y compraba las cosas de nuevo hasta que fuera justo lo que ella quería. Mi mamá no siempre fue fácil de complacer, pero él nunca dejó de intentarlo.

Preparaba sus comidas favoritas. Las favoritas de Nuevo México – enchiladas y estofado de chile verde – eran las deliciosas especialidades. Jesse mantenía el tazón de helado y la taza de café de mamá siempre llenos.

Como suele suceder, no faltaban las palabras de impaciencia y molestia en ocasiones, pero también se reconocía el error en eso y llegaban las disculpas y perdón rápido.

Jesse no sólo amó a mi mamá, sino a la familia también. Siempre nos hizo sentir cordialmente invitados a su casa, nos saludaba y se despedía de nosotros con un abrazo. Preguntaba por nuestros hijos y se alegraba en los logros que éstos tenían.

Cuando Jesse estuvo muy enfermo en el hospital, le dijo a un amigo que tenía que ir a casa para cuidar de mi mamá. Él quería cuidarla hasta el último instante.

Dios tenía otros planes. Se llevó a Jesse antes que a mi mamá, a pesar de que es ella la que tiene cáncer de etapa cuatro. Mi mamá terminó cuidándole a él, tiernamente limpiando, calmando, permaneciendo a su lado. El “plan” no era que él se fuera primero, pero le dio a mi mamá la oportunidad de dulcemente regresar ese amor en sus últimos días. Ella lo extrañará mucho.

Jesse ha puesto un estándar muy alto. Sé que yo podría hacer más para demostrar amor por otros cada día.

Cuando me haya ido, me pregunto qué es lo que la gente dirá acerca de cómo les amé…

¿Demuestras un amor abundante, creativo y sacrificial por otros?

tribute to a lover

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IMG_5818 smallJesse loved abundantly, creatively and sacrificially. A man with normal human faults and frailties, he gave her his whole heart when he married my mom. There was never any doubt – His love was great. It might have been his greatest testimony on this earth – his unquestionable love for her.

It always impressed me that he did not leave the house without kissing my mom good-bye. They enjoyed time together – family holidays, planting flowers, travels to the beach, meetings with long-time friends. Simple pleasures filled their later days – easy walks to see the ducks at the nearby pond, watching sports on TV, a day at the casino.

He bought her anything he thought might make her happy. He wanted to spoil her and would return and re-buy items until they were just what she wanted. My mom was not always easy to please, but he never stopped trying.

He cooked her favorite foods. New Mexico favorites – enchiladas and green chile stew – were delicious specialties. Jesse kept Mom’s ice cream bowl and coffee cup filled.

As happens, there were impatient, angry words at times, but there was also recognition of the wrong in that and quick apologies and forgiveness.

Jesse not only loved my mom, but he loved her family too. He always made us feel warmly welcomed in his home, greeting us and saying goodbye with a hug. He asked about our children and rejoiced in their accomplishments.

When Jesse was very sick in the hospital, he told a friend he had to get home to take care of my mom. He wanted to care for her until the very end.

God had other plans. He took Jesse before my mom, even though she is the one who has stage-four cancer. My mom ended up caring for him, tenderly cleaning, soothing, accompanying him at his side. It was not the “plan” for him to go first, but it gave my mom a chance to sweetly love him back in his last days. She will miss him very much.

Jesse has set the standard very high. I know I could do a lot more to show love to others every day.

When I am gone, I wonder what people will say about how I loved them…

Do you demonstrate an abundant, creative, sacrificial love to others? 

actitud olímpica

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olympic rings

Bombeante adrenalina de valor, sudor y lágrimas de disciplina, e impresionantes logros atléticos. Belleza, fuerza, sonrisas y la culminación fructífera de años de arduo trabajo. ¡Me encantan las Olimpiadas! ¡Ver a los atletas – casi 🙂 – me hace salir del sofá y hacer unas lagartijas o correr unas cuantos kilómetros!

También hay tropiezos, caídas, penas, lesiones y lágrimas. Anoche vi un poquito de las Olimpiadas. En la final del estilo de cuesta en snowboard femenil, Sarka Pancochova, del la República Checa, tuvo una horrenda caída en su aterrizaje del tercer salto. Tocó el borde de su tabla, perdió el equilibrio y cayó de espaldas. Se golpió la cabeza duro contra la nieve; su cuello rebotó de repente hacia atrás; su cuerpo parecía el de una muñeca de trapo cayendo por la pendiente. Cuando finalmente se deslizó hasta detenerse, permaneció quieta, sin moverse. VIDEO: Ver su carrera y caída

El casco de Sarka se rompió y resquebajó en la parte de atrás – una protección diseñada intencionalmente.

Increíblemente, después de solo unos cuantos minutos, los médicos la revisaron y ella se puso de pie y concluyo el trayecto en sus propias fuerzas. 

Yo practiqué un poco de carreras de esquí cuando era joven. Recuerdo una terrible caída en la línea de meta cuando mi padre también me motivó a subir rápidamente la colina y competir de nuevo – sin permitir que el miedo o los recuerdos me controlaran o limitaran mis futuros intentos de esquiar. Disfruté de esquiar por muchos años más.

Estoy leyendo ahora un libro llamado El Auténtico Norte de Bill George. Él fomenta el liderazgo auténtico y asegura que los líderes no surgen simplemente de características, rasgos, habilidades, o estilos, sino más bien de las historias de vida. Mientras nos analizamos a nosotros mismos a través de las experiencias del mundo real y luego reestructuramos esas historias de vida para entender quiénes somos, los líderes dan rienda suelta a sus pasiones y descubren el propósito de su liderazgo¹.

Las historias de la vida real incluyen grandes triunfos… y terribles tragedias. Todas esas experiencias están entrelazadas para hacernos quienes somos, si aprendemos de ellas y las usamos para darle impacto a nuestro liderazgo. Yo me he caído muchas veces en el pasado, pero esos no son los momentos que definen mi vida. La verdadera victoria surge de ponerme de pie nuevamente, aprender de la experiencia y avanzar hacia mi propósito de vida.

Sarka no ganó la competencia de snowboard, pero ella definitivamente tiene la actitud de una ganadora. Estoy segura de que obtendrá sorprendentes logros en su vida. Su actitud es un gran recordatorio y ejemplo para mi.

¿Cuál es tu actitud después de una caída? ¿Qué es lo que te ayuda a ponerte de pie nuevamente? ¿Cómo te han guiado tus experiencias a descubrir tu propósito de vida?

___________________________

¹ (traducido de) George, B., 2007,True North: Discover Your Authentic Leadership, Kindle Locations 201-203

olympic attitude

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olympic rings

Adrenaline pumping courage, sweat and tears discipline, and breath-taking athletic accomplishments. Beauty, strength, smiles, and the fruitful culmination of many years of hard work. I love the Olympics! Watching the athletes – almost 🙂 – motivates me to get off the couch and do some push-ups or run a few miles!

There are also the tumbles, falls, heartaches, injuries, and tears. Last night I watched a bit of the Olympics. In the women’s snowboard slopestyle final, Sarka Pancochova, from the Czech Republic, took a horrendous spill on her third jump landing. She caught her snowboard edge, lost her balance, and fell backward. Her head hit the snow hard; her neck whipped back; her body was a limp rag doll tumbling down the slope. When she finally slid to a stop, she laid still, not moving. VIDEO: Watch her fall

Sarka’s helmet broke and cracked open in the back – an intentional protection design. 

Incredibly, after just a few minutes, medics reviewed her, and she stood to her feet and finished the course under her on power.

I did a little ski racing when I was young. I remember a terrible finish line wipe-out when my dad also encouraged me to quickly go back up the hill and race again – not allowing the fear and memories to control me or limit my future skiing attempts. I enjoyed skiing for many more years.

I am reading a book now called True North by Bill George. He encourages authentic leadership and claims that leaders do not emerge simply from characteristics, traits, skills, or styles, but rather from life stories. As we test ourselves through real-world experiences and then re-frame those life stories to understand who we are, leaders unleash their passions and discover the purpose of their leadership¹. 

Real life stories involve great triumphs… and terrible tragedies. All of those experiences are woven together to make us who we are, if we learn from them and use them to empower our leadership. I have fallen many times in the past, but those are not the defining moments of my life. The real victory comes from getting back on my feet, learning from the experience, and moving forward toward my life purpose.

Sarka did not win the snowboard event, but she definitely has a winner’s attitude. I am sure she will reach amazing accomplishments in her life. Her attitude is a great reminder and example for me.

What is your attitude after a fall? What helps you to get on your feet again? How have your experiences led you to discover your purpose in life?

___________________________

¹ George, B., 2007,True North: Discover Your Authentic Leadership, Kindle Locations 201-203

a Valentine’s Day Grinch

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sunset holding handsI admit it. I’m a Valentine’s Day Grinch.

I don’t like the commercialization of love or the marketing scam that says that you can somehow make up for months of relationship neglect by spending a big wad of money at Zales. I do like chocolate (dark), but the last thing I need is a huge box of it around my house. I’m no big fan of heart jewelry or stuffed animals or lacy lingerie or cut flowers that die and have to be thrown away in a few days. I really don’t like doilies or ruffles… and I especially don’t like PINK anything!

I’m not your typically “girly” girl … and I have struggled with that much of my life.

Especially in my marriage, I have often felt pressure to squeeze into a mold that does not fit me. Thankfully, that pressure does not come from my husband – just the opposite (!) – but it does come from others who assume – and promote – that certain generalities and stereotypes are – or should be – true for all. Some of the pressure I have put on myself.

Some seem to believe that there exists a sort of all-inclusive pink, ruffled, girly way that make all woman feel loved… and some definite blue, rugged, manly ways for all men to love.

Similar to how Valentine’s Day is sold as the perfect version of love for all:
boy buys sweet card and pink flowers + girl feels loved = happily ever after. ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

It’s just not like that for everyone – and certainly not for me or my marriage. After many years, I’ve finally realized that it’s ok not to fit into all the generalities and stereotypes. God has created me uniquely and perfectly the way I am. Pink ruffles and jewelry and heart shapes are truly GREAT love gifts for some… just not for all women… and definitely not for me.

I prefer to use I Corinthians 13 as my love model:

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous;
love does not brag and is not arrogant,
does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own,
is not provoked,
does not take into account a wrong suffered,
does not rejoice in unrighteousness,
but rejoices with the truth;
bears all things, believes all things,
hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails.

(1 Cor 13:4-8a NASB)

No lace or doilies or stuffed animals mentioned. 🙂

My husband has worked very hard for almost 30 years to love me this way – kind and not seeking his own interests first, patient and not arrogant, forgiving and believing the best… and I try to do the same for him. Now that speaks love to me!

Have you ever felt pressure to fit a stereotype or role that didn’t work for you? 

What demonstrates true love to you?

How can you use your uniquely perfect self to show love to someone today?

____

Originally posted 2-2013 in MissionalWomen.com – Check out their great site!

¿Cuál es mi deseo del millón de dólares?

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money Esta es la pregunta publicada hoy en el blog TED: ¿Cuál es tú deseo del millón de dólares para el Mundo? Ellos están recibiendo nominaciones para su Premio TED 2015, de un millón de dólares en premio al visionario con una gran idea para provocar cambio en el mundo. 

Antes del 31 de marzo puedes nominar a un mentor, héroe, compañero de trabajo, incluso a ti mismo. TED quiere dar un millón de dólares a alguien que tenga un enorme deseo y un registro que sugiera que puede llevarlo a cabo. Será muy interesante saber a quién elegirán.

Yo intenté pensar en un gran deseo hoy, pero para ser honesta, mi corazón y mi cabeza están llenos de emociones tristes y dolorosas. El esposo de mi mamá por los últimos 30 años (no mi padre, pero un hombre muy especial) ha estado en el hospital durante semanas y sólo ha empeorado. Lo llevarán a casa en una ambulancia mañana. Esto es muy difícil para mi mamá quien ya está luchando con cáncer de etapa cuatro. Es difícil para mi familia que vive cerca y les cuidan diariamente.

Mi gran deseo para hoy es para que ya no haya más enfermedad, muerte y sufrimiento. 

Oro fielmente por muchas personas que están enfermas y muriendo… a veces me desanimo y me frustro mucho porque no recibo las respuestas a lo que quiero. Preferiría cargarlo en mi misma para proteger del dolor a los que amo. Quisiera hacer que todo el dolor y la enfermedad y las lágrimas y el temor desaparecieran… pero no puedo hacer eso.

Un millón de dólares no hará mi deseo realidad.

La enfermedad y la muerte no son los únicos sufrimientos. Hay muchísimos más. Algunas injusticias me hacen enojar. Algunas acciones hirientes rompen mi corazón. La tristeza nunca se acabará aquí en la tierra. El único lugar sin dolor es nuestra morada eterna.

Puedo ofrecer esperanza.

Sería fácil para mi conformarme con la resignación y la depresión ya que no puedo curar los males de este mundo. Muchas veces estoy tentada a darme por vencida. Sin embargo, hay mucho que puedo hacer. Como los nominados TED, puedo provocar cambio en el mundo. Puede que sea un muy pequeño cambio… un abrazo, una palabra de aliento, una oración, una ayuda que pueda ofrecer… lo cual podría no hacerme ganar un millón de dólares, pero podría ganarme una sonrisa. Tal vez no pueda quitarles la gran carga, pero podría ayudar a aligerar el peso. 

Mientras esté aquí, puedo dar. Tal vez esa sea la razón por la que aún estoy aquí.

¿Cuál es tu deseo del millón de dólares? ¿Dónde provocarás cambió en el mundo?

(¿Conoces a alguien para nominar para el premio TED?)

What’s my $1 million wish?

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money
This is the question posted on the TED blog today: What’s your $1 Million Wish for the World? They are taking nominations for their 2015 TED Prize, a $1 million award to a visionary with a great big idea for creating change in the world.

Before March 31st you can nominate a mentor, a hero, a co-worker, even yourself. TED wants to give $1 million to someone who has a great wish and the track record that suggests they could accomplish it. It will be very interesting to find out who they pick.

I tried to think about a great wish today, but honestly my heart and head is full now with sad and painful emotions. My mom’s husband of the last 30 years (not my dad, but a very special man) has been in the hospital for weeks and has only deteriorated. They will move him by ambulance back to his home tomorrow. This is very difficult for my mom who is already fighting stage-four cancer. It is very hard for my family who live close by and do the daily care.

My great wish today is for no more sickness, death, and suffering.

I pray faithfully for a lot of people who are sick and dying… some days I get very discouraged and frustrated because I don’t get the answers I want. I would rather take it on myself to protect the ones I love from pain. I want to make the hurt and illness and tears and fear all go away… but I can’t do that.

$1 million won’t get me my wish.

We live in a broken world. Disease and death are not the only hardships. There are so many more. Some injustices make me mad. Some hurtful actions break my heart. Sadness will never end here on earth. The only place without pain is our eternal home.

I can offer hope.

It would be easy for me to settle for resignation and depression since I can not cure the ills of this world. I am often tempted to give up. However, there is much I can do. Like the TED nominees, I can create change in the world. It may be a very small change… a hug, a word of encouragement, a prayer, an offer to help…  What I do may not win me a $1 million prize, but it may earn me a smile. Maybe I can’t take away the heavy burden, but I can help to lighten the load.

While I am here, I can give. Maybe that”s why I am still here for now.

What is your $1 million wish? Where would you create change in the world?

(Do you know someone to nominate for the TED prize?)

la montaña rusa de las emociones

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roller coasterSiempre me han gustado las montañas rusas – ¡mientras más altas y aterradoras sean mejor! Me encanta la sensación de riesgo y aventura y velocidad… siempre que me sienta a salvo y segura por los broches y las barras que me mantienen firme dentro del carro. Me gusta el panorama y los lugares que se ven desde los puntos más altos… y nunca le doy importancia a la sensación de vuelco en el estómago mientras el carro desciende a los puntos más bajos o rechina al girar en las curvas. El viento en mi cabello, los gritos en mi garganta, las manos en alto… intencionalmente busco ese tipo de diversión en los parques de entretenimiento.

…pero no quiero esa misma experiencia cuando regreso a casa. 

De alguna manera cuando los acontecimientos de la vida tienen las mismas características de riesgo y velocidad y cambio, ya no se siente tan divertido.

Los últimos días se han sentido como una montaña rusa de emociones para mí. He estado en los pináculos más altos de nuevas amistades, de un trabajo estimulante y motivador, y de progresar hacia establecernos en una nueva casa. En horas, también he viajado a los bajos valles de la lucha familiar con enfermedades mortales que tocan a la puerta, temor y cansancio, cargando la culpa de no poder hacer más, y en el duelo de la pérdida del una vez vibrante padre quien ahora apenas reconoce mi voz cuando llamo. 

Estos altibajos también afectan mi estómago, pero ahora son gemidos y dolor en vez de vuelos emocionantes, y sí me importa, y desearía que desaparecieran.

Di una charla en un retiro este fin de semana acerca de la necesidad de invitar a otros a nuestras aventuras de vida y buscar algo que apreciamos incluso en los momentos difíciles. La actitud del corazón y la ayuda de otros hacen una gran diferencia para mí cuando mi vida está torciéndose y dando vueltas en todas direcciones en cortos plazos. Me siento más segura en mi jornada salvaje cuando mi fe me sostiene con fuerza y mis amigos se sientan junto a mí en el carro.

Reconozco que los pináculos y los valles serán parte de mi experiencia hasta que el viaje termine. A veces lentamente me tambalearé a lo largo de un camino recto y suave, pero las alocadas pistas de bombeante adrenalina se encuentran justo por delante. Estoy aprendiendo que si considero los retos de la vida como una aventura, como una inevitable oportunidad para crecer y confiar, y si no intento tomar el viaje sola, no es tan aterrador para mí. Incluso es divertido en ocasiones.

¿Te gustan las montañas rusas? ¿Cómo viajas en la emocional montaña rusa de la vida?