Your Story Matters

Posted on April 7, 2020 by terry morgan

Graphic credit: Your Story Matters launch team

We are going through crazy times – a world pandemic never before experienced in our lifetimes. We would never have believed it if someone had told us a few weeks ago that:

All schools and colleges would be closed except for online studies
All professional sports and music concerts would cancel their upcoming events
International and domestic flights would be grounded and country borders would be closed
The Olympics would be postponed
Beaches and National Parks would off-limits
We’d be maintaining six-foot “personal cones of protection” and wearing masks out in public
Millions of people would suddenly be out of work
In some places, tax collections and school loan repayments would be postponed and some landlords would not be charging rent
Divided governments would be collaborating like never before on economic stimulus packages

This mind-boggling new world is affecting us each in different ways. Some are very isolated and lonely as they are in lockdown alone in their homes. Others are overwhelmed as they have suddenly taken on homeschooling and/or they are trying to work with young children underfoot, on their laps, and yelling in their ears. Many are living in vulnerable and unsafe situations in their own homes or homeless on the streets. Others are not able to stay home and are working in risky job situations to take care of the rest of us. Some have lost jobs. Others are fearful of the future. Many are stepping into creative and generous ways of helping with needs. Each story is different.

Each story matters.

I have been processing my experience during these crazy times by journaling and by writing in this blog. There have been some really hard, sad, and tumultuous effects due to this virus. We have also made beneficial adjustments in our new way of life. One thing I want to do is record the changes I have made in my life during this time so that I do not go back so easily to status quo behaviors when this is over.

I want to remember.

That is one of the reasons I am grateful that a book launch is happening right now and I get to recommend Leslie Leyland Fields excellent work titled, Your Story Matters.

Leslie Leyland Fields hosts an incredible writers workshop on a private island in Alaska. She also does a few workshops in other places, but for most of us, attending one of those workshops won’t work because of travel or cost limitations, especially now.

Thankfully, Leslie’s new book is like having her workshop brought right to your home. As you read and write your way through Your Story Matters, Leslie explains the “why” it is important to write your story and the specifics of “how” to do it. Her coaching is honest, grace-filled, encouraging and easy to follow.

The chapters are full of wonderful examples and helpful writing prompts. If you have ever believed you can’t or shouldn’t write, Leslie is about to change that. If you have ever thought about writing for publication, to process what has or is happening in your life, or to preserve family memories, now is a great time to do that.

I highly recommend using some of your time during this once-in-a-lifetime situation to write or record your experience and emotions – your story – in some way. You could compose a song, record a video, or write. Leslie’s book will help you remember and tell your story. I highly recommend it.

How are you processing and recording your unique story?

Get Leslie’s book on Amazon now!

seeing myself as a system

Posted on March 2, 2020 by terry morgan

cables clint-adair-BW0vK-FA3eg-unsplash

I’m reading a book these days about leading change. My hope is that the book will help me and my team learn how to help others flourish – even through changes in our fast-paced, uncertain, complex world. I am learning a lot that will apply to the organization, but this morning I read something that applies personally to me.

I’ve struggled for a while with my inability to name my own desires and preferences with confidence. I hear others say without hesitancy, “This is what I like” or “This is who I am”, but I can’t seem to do that. I’ve wondered why. I’ve wondered if something was wrong with me.

The chapter titled, “See Yourself as a System”, gave me a fresh way to look at this.

The chapter starts out with the story of an Army officer who does not agree with some of the self-protective but unstrategic behaviors of the men he is commanding, but who does not stand up to them because he wants solidarity with the unit. The officer’s tension is an illustration of the complexity of our human system, with its “competing values and interests, preferences and tendencies, aspirations and fears¹”, many of which he linked back to needs he had developed during his upbringing.

The authors explain that our personal system is an inter-tangled network of our personality, life story, intellect, skills, and emotional intelligence. Our behaviors and decisions are affected by all of that and the situations, conditions, loyalties, experiences, and bandwidth that we have at any given time.

The chapter suggests that we cannot effectively lead change if we do not understand our system and our “multiple identities” that are a result of that reality. Not multiple identities in a psychotic or lack of integrity kind of way, but the fact that we do – in a healthy, authentic way – show up differently depending on the role we play, the need of the times, and the new growth we can bring to a situation now.

Personally, I felt a sense of relief when I read this. I was encouraged to hear that my perceived struggle with a set identity definition could actually be a benefit to a changing organization when I view myself as a complex system – less easy to describe, growing, updating, and changing over-time, rather than static, fixed, defined, and fully-formed. It’s given me a hopeful lens to consider some of my tensions. I’m looking forward to reading more about loyalties, influence factors, and roles in the next chapters.

What do you think? What is your perspective on being a “system”?

¹ R. Heifetz, A. Grashow & M. Linsly. 2009. The Practice of Adaptive Leadership – The Tools and Tactics for Changing your Organization and the World, Harvard Business Press, p 178.

Photo credit: Clint Adair on Unsplash

life story inspiration

Posted on February 24, 2014 by terry morgan

Starbucks is my coffee of choice. I always order the same thing – a “grande” house blend, bold, with no room for cream. Every now and then, I accompany my coffee with a healthy oatmeal or a not-so-healthy cinnamon scone. I enjoy the community atmosphere, the comfortable seating for reading or study, and becoming a “regular” when I frequent the same Starbucks for any length of time. I especially like feeling “known” when the barista begins to pour my personal choice before I even reach the counter.

Given my affection for the coffee, I was excited to read about the Starbucks story in a book about authentic leadership¹. A man named Howard Schultz created the Starbucks atmosphere we know today. Schultz wanted to offer a coffee-house with the community feel he had experienced in the espresso bars he visited in Milan, Italy.

“The reservoir of all my life experiences
shaped me as a person and a leader.”
~Howard Schultz

In addition to community, Schultz integrated other life values into the Starbucks culture. Schultz was born in 1957, and he grew up in Brooklyn, New York, living in the Bayview Housing Projects. As the son of a blue-collar delivery truck driver and a stay-at-home mom, finances were always tight, especially after his dad injured his ankle and lost his job and their health insurance. There was no workman’s compensation in those days, and an injured driver was useless and dispensable.

Those years of struggle etched deeply in Schultz’s memory and compelled Schultz’s vision to lead a company that valued and respected the staff and offered higher pay, stock options, and health care benefits even to part-time employees.

Schultz’s story built his character. From his mother, Schultz heard many times that he could do anything he wanted. When Schultz saw his father’s lack of success and accompanying bitterness, Schultz developed a fear failure and self defeat, and became driven to achieve and succeed.

“You must have the courage
to follow an unconventional path.”
~Howard Schultz

Over the years, Schultz intentionally “re-framed” his opinion of his father and chose to emulate his father’s integrity, work ethic and commitment to family. Schultz learned to appreciate his story of family hardship as the source of his values and his motivations, and to this day Schultz remembers his humble beginnings and intentionally integrates his story into his leadership and his company.

I am learning to “re-frame” many of my life experiences too; letting go of hurts and bitterness and choosing to emphasize and apply the positive character traits that I gained as a result of struggle and hard times.

Whenever I drink my coffee now, I try to remember how my life story can inspire my leadership.

What experiences from your life story inspire you?

___________

¹More details of this story (and others) are found in the excellent book, True North: Discover Your Authentic Leadership by Bill George.

olympic attitude

Posted on February 10, 2014 by terry morgan

Adrenaline pumping courage, sweat and tears discipline, and breath-taking athletic accomplishments. Beauty, strength, smiles, and the fruitful culmination of many years of hard work. I love the Olympics! Watching the athletes – almost 🙂 – motivates me to get off the couch and do some push-ups or run a few miles!

There are also the tumbles, falls, heartaches, injuries, and tears. Last night I watched a bit of the Olympics. In the women’s snowboard slopestyle final, Sarka Pancochova, from the Czech Republic, took a horrendous spill on her third jump landing. She caught her snowboard edge, lost her balance, and fell backward. Her head hit the snow hard; her neck whipped back; her body was a limp rag doll tumbling down the slope. When she finally slid to a stop, she laid still, not moving. VIDEO: Watch her fall

Sarka’s helmet broke and cracked open in the back – an intentional protection design.

Incredibly, after just a few minutes, medics reviewed her, and she stood to her feet and finished the course under her on power.

I did a little ski racing when I was young. I remember a terrible finish line wipe-out when my dad also encouraged me to quickly go back up the hill and race again – not allowing the fear and memories to control me or limit my future skiing attempts. I enjoyed skiing for many more years.

I am reading a book now called True North by Bill George. He encourages authentic leadership and claims that leaders do not emerge simply from characteristics, traits, skills, or styles, but rather from life stories. As we test ourselves through real-world experiences and then re-frame those life stories to understand who we are, leaders unleash their passions and discover the purpose of their leadership¹.

Real life stories involve great triumphs… and terrible tragedies. All of those experiences are woven together to make us who we are, if we learn from them and use them to empower our leadership. I have fallen many times in the past, but those are not the defining moments of my life. The real victory comes from getting back on my feet, learning from the experience, and moving forward toward my life purpose.

Sarka did not win the snowboard event, but she definitely has a winner’s attitude. I am sure she will reach amazing accomplishments in her life. Her attitude is a great reminder and example for me.

What is your attitude after a fall? What helps you to get on your feet again? How have your experiences led you to discover your purpose in life?

___________________________

¹ George, B., 2007,True North: Discover Your Authentic Leadership, Kindle Locations 201-203

life is a story

Posted on May 20, 2013 by terry morgan

Every life is a story… Comedy. Drama. Action. Horror. Newscast.

My favorite part of our meetings this year is when each person took a few minutes to tell (a very brief version of) their life journey. Many made us laugh. Others made us cry. Some left us with our mouths open in disbelief. Each story was unique.

Some used pictures. Others told stories. Some communicated with confidence and creative presentations. Others simply read from their notes. Some were so nervous that their voice cracked and their knees literally trembled as they spoke… but they did it, and it was powerful.

I could relate to some of the stories; others were very, very different from my reality. Either way, I felt more connected to each one as I came to know them just a little bit better. Through our vulnerability, we were building community.

Pain permeated many of the stories; loneliness, illness, rejection, death. Some told of shame or fear, lost dreams or broken hearts. For a few the pain was fresh and raw; a story being told for the first time. For others, the sting is gone now, and they are living a new life. I often heard a thread of grace, redemption, and hope.

Although I have always been a “people person” and have enjoyed meeting many different types of people, I feel like this year I have come to appreciate each person’s unique story more than ever. I have especially treasured those people who are open and real with me, allowing me to see their brokenness and their imperfections… and those who have invited me to share their new adventures and their joys.

It is sometimes more comfortable and natural for us to compare, or hide, and isolate ourselves from others, but I recognize each life is valuable and lived to be told. In a safe place, with a commitment to growth, our lives are a priceless gift when shared with others. As our lives intersect, they are like the threads in a beautiful tapestry… not to be hidden, but to bring warmth and beauty and richness to our world.

Do you share your (real) life with others? Are you a safe place for others to share their story?