Category Archives: learning and leading

My word for 2015: Empower

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It did not take a lot of thought to pick my word for this coming year. The idea was on the forefront of my mind almost immediately. In the years past, it has sometimes taken more time and consideration, and I have picked words for attitudes or growth that I needed personally: authentic (2012), courage (2013), and fulfill (2104).

rocket IMG_9382This year I want to focus my energies more towards others. I have received great development, encouragement, and blessing in the last few years. I want to share that with others. So my word for 2015 is EMPOWER.

My husband read this great quote and sent it to me. It fitly describes the purpose for my life efforts this next year.

As we look ahead into the next century,
leaders will be those who empower others.
                                            Bill Gates

I’m not sure what “empower” will look like for me, but I can guess that it will include a few of these things:

Investing time coaching and mentoring others.

Asking more and better questions and “preaching” less.

Saying “no” to doing anything someone else could do.

Controlling less.

Encouraging more.

Humility.

Paying attention and observing others.

Resourcing others with materials, trainings, and assessments – anything that will build confidence and competence in others to do and be their best.

Praying for others more.

Believing more in others’ abilities and expressing my belief to them.

Celebrating with others.

I envision in-fueling people (family, friends, other leaders around the world) with whatever they need to go places and do things that I can’t even imagine.

I look forward to seeing what they will do. Bring it on 2015!

What do you think EMPOWER looks like? What is your word for 2015?

wrapping up 2014

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IMG_1231I have a fun hangover.

All of our grown children came home – plus extras – for two weeks now. People slept in every room of our small townhouse. Imported belongings invaded every counter and every inch of floor space. We saturated days with fun and laughter, adventures, deep conversations, and delicious, not-necessarily-good-for-you food. We delighted in long-standing traditions and created new experiences this first Christmas in our new home. We connected at mind, heart, and spirit. It was an incredibly rich time.

My energy level is a bit low now, but my heart is full.

That seems a fitting condition for the year I christened last January with the word “fulfill”.

These family days together were a dream fulfilled. So is living in this new home and the purposeful work I get to do with my husband. One night at dinner, we all reflected on the past year and answered questions about our greatest challenges and biggest achievements and how we grew or matured or changed through both. I am satisfied with the responsibilities and goals I fulfilled last year and by the choices I made to feel fulfilled personally at this stage of my life. It has been a great year.

There have been hard times too. Death, pain, and poor decisions by loved ones crushed my spirit and drove me to my knees. The aching desire to be present in two – or three or four – places at once has weighed heavier than ever. Community, country, and world conflicts and tragedies have burdened my soul.

And so I consider my word for 2015.

What are my passions? What do I want to do? Where will I prioritize?

I’ve read many a great post about end of year reflection questions and have re-worked some of them for us here.

  • Where did you thrive last year?
  • Where did you struggle?
  • If you had to describe your 2014 in three words, what would they be?
  • What was your biggest time waster this past year?
  • Where did you best invest your time?
  • What, or who, are you most thankful for?
  • What advice would you give your early-2014 self if you could?
  • What one thing would you do differently and why?
  • What topics did you most enjoy learning about?
  • What did you learn about yourself?
  • What was a favorite compliment that you received this year?
  • What is one thing you can do next year to add meaning and relevance?

Maybe you’d like to take time to answer these  – and any other favorites you have – and choose a word for 2015. Find a quiet place, your favorite beverage, put your feet up, and enjoy the process.

I’ll post my word next week. I’d love to hear what you choose!

Old favorites. New traditions.

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Old favorites. New traditions.

Christmas has finally arrived at our house! 

My husband and I decided to wait to turn in our final Capstone project. Yesterday afternoon the SEND button was pushed, and after 3 1/2 years, we have completed the work for our MA in Global Leadership degree. That is cause for celebration!

So we jumped in the car and drove to Hollywood Studios to see the (literally) millions of lights that “dance” to music for the wide-eyed, joy-filled, shoulder-to-shoulder packed-in-like-sardines, crowd in the street. It was truly impressive and a first time experience for this Orlando transplant.

… and so begin the new Christmas traditions.

This is our first year in our Florida home, so decorating requires new decisions… with the old favorites. Many plastic tubs of strangely-out-of-place snow and evergreen themed treasures, a life long of collected ornaments, and beloved hot chocolate mugs have exploded in my living room. I love the transformation that warm candles, white lights, and years of collected nativities bring to the home.

We are bringing all of our children to Orlando to celebrate this year – another new experience with “old” favorites. This Christmas will include Disney parks, warm weather, and lots of crazy people filling every inch of floor space in a small townhome and every moment of the days with silly insider jokes, laughter, music, adventures, hugs, stories, pictures, memories, and love. We need to buy more food, warn the neighbors, and make sure the camera batteries are charged. I can’t wait!

This morning, as I anticipate the craziness, I also reflect on my every-year desire to keep one constant in this season – a quiet, peaceful, heartfelt connection with the One who gives true meaning to this holiday. Jesus is my favorite part of all life, and each year I have the opportunity to create new “traditions” that keep us close.

Here are a few of my special traditions for CHRISTmastime perspective. 

Pentatonix a cappella cover of  “Little Drummer Boy”

The Piano Guys “Angels We Have Heard on High”

(an older favorite) A Social Media Christmas

What are some of your Christmas favorites? What new traditions are you starting this year?

power in forgiveness

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IMGP8357 (2)
What is it about forgiveness? 

What is it that makes forgiveness so hard to ask for, so hard to give, and so life-changing when it happens authentically?

In my memories, my parents fought through all of my childhood. Different personalities, life and work pressures, insecurities and immaturities all added to the fire, and alcoholism added fuel. Eventually, they divorced after 25 years of marriage. It was not pretty. It was not amicable.

For almost 30 years they have lived in the same city, but never saw each other. At first, we could not even mention my mom’s name in front of my dad. We arranged every holiday and every family event around which parent we would visit when, or which one of them would be invited to attend. It could never be both of them at the same time. They will never know how many hours of planning, debate, maneuvering, and heart anguish accompanied each special occasion through the years.

This Thanksgiving, something amazing happened. My parents agreed – for the first time in almost 30 years – to give thanks…. together. The death of a spouse, terminal cancer, and many years passing finally cleared the way for reconciliation, acceptance, forgiveness, and peace.

There were a few uncertain and awkward moments (mostly by the siblings who were orchestrating the event), but all in all, it was one of the most significant and inspiring holidays that I can remember.

It was a powerful, healing moment for everyone – even the grandchildren – to watch my parents greet each other at the front door… both very frail, very tired, and finally… very at peace.

Neither could eat very much, but the meal was sacred. They did not talk of anything substantial – dementia has stolen that opportunity – but their interaction was deeply meaningful to all who were there.

My parents’ reunion after all these years does not change much at this point in time… and it changes everything.

Their willing hearts were a testimony to hope.

My family watched the life-end desire for peace overcome long-guarded anger and separation. We experienced genuine humility vanquish pride, regret, and deep pain. stubbornness lost to prayer, patience, and perseverance over time.

There is a new freedom in our lives – and in our children’s lives. A freedom won by broken lives restored and divided families reunited. A freedom earned by barriers torn down and destroyed. A freedom gained by letting go of bitterness and grabbing on to forgiveness. A freedom that carries a belief in the impossible, because we saw it happen with our own eyes.

Forgiveness is powerful.

Is there someone you need to forgive today? You don’t have to wait.

on the (bike) path of life

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Reflecting on a ride…

It was a warm very hot, sunny day in Orlando. We were ready for a new adventure, energized and enthusiastic… and a little unsure of how it would turn out in the end. We had done our homework: asking questions of the “experts”, researching on Internet, and preparing our equipment. We had a trail recommendation, map directions, snacks and water in our bags, and air in our tires.

IMG_0552Preparation is wise and helpful,
but it does not guarantee ease or success.

Off we went. The sights were beautiful – shade trees, flowers, benches and wooden bridges. We followed the path signs, passed lakes and luxury homes, schools and parks; we crossed streets and highways.

Life isn’t usually a 1/4 mile round track.
It is a cross-country journey;
for each one – different, unique, valuable in its own way.

We rode along mostly side by IMG_0507side, as is our preference. Sometimes one of us rode out it front, setting the pace. On some stretches, we passed others who walked, jogged, or rode more slowly. At other places, we were the ones who ceded to riders who passed us by.IMG_0608 IMG_0382

Life is a journey of ebb and flow, rhythms, and sharing the road together.

Some folks called out “good morning” or “hello”; others were quiet or distracted with their own thoughts, music, or life situation. Some rode with children; some walked with friends, others walked with pets. A rich community.

Life isn’t meant to be lived alone.
Whether we have a few special friends or many important relationships,
we need company along the way.

There were flat parts and then hills to climb. There were almost-out-of-control downhill inclines, sharp curves, and IMG_0609bumps. One short stretch was “off-road”, rocky, washed out and rutted.

Life has many experiences along the trail, breaking the monotony,
adding variety, mixing times of challenge and rest.

At the end of the ride, we were worn out and tired – but IMG_0376accomplished. I see this in my mom’s life as she is nearing the end of her journey. So much energy and enthusiasm at the start; wearniness now with a sense of completion and satisfaction, and peace.

Where are you on your life path? How are you doing on your ride?

do it right the first time

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IMG_0934I was enjoying a delicious grilled dinner out on the patio with my husband. It was peaceful, slightly cool (for Orlando!), and quiet. We were enjoying the scenery, the casual conversation, and the good food.

And then I saw it.

A bubble on the roof of the porch. What’s that? It wasn’t there before! Doesn’t look good…

The opinion of a friend, a chat with the neighbor, calls to the HOA, and a visit from the builder all confirmed – a small missing piece of flashing on the roof meant rain water eventually got under the shingles.. and through the wood… and through the paint… and caused a big ol’ mess.

Weeks later, I’ve had many men hanging from my roof, and I’ve been seeing daylight where it shouldn’t be. I heard lots of people passing the blame – the builder should have supervised, the roofers should have done it right, the inspection guys should have seen it (turns out they don’t actually ever go ON the roof anymore), the stucco guys should have said something…and the painters…. and so on.

It has been an awful lot of work to repair one small detail that wasn’t done right the first time.

A missing three-dollar, couple-feet-long piece of flashing has required 15 or more people visiting my house, tar paper and shingles pulled off and replaced, plywood cut out and nailed back in, mold inspections, new stucco, and new paint. The builder will do further inspections over our whole roof and the roofs of all the other homes constructed by the same company in our neighborhood. Thousands of dollars worth of labor and material. Whew!

At work, I am also part of “re-modeling” work on a training project that had some “small” pieces missing. It has been ten times more difficult to “fix” the job than it would have been to create it well in the first place. A solid foundation could have saved a lot of time, frustration, blame passing… and provided a better product.

These fiascos have me thinking about my own efforts and work. Do I give my best at all I do? Am I committed to quality work? Or do I try to rush through and miss important details?  Do I supervise well? Do I speak up when I see that someone else is not doing a quality job? Or do I just care about MY part?

All work – building homes to writing training materials – requires that everyone involved do quality work to create a quality job. It’s a lot easier to do it right the first time.

What do you think? What makes you committed to doing things right? Or what makes it difficult for you?

 

 

thriving in transition

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stepping stones

Photo credit: ffela / Foter / CC BY-NC-SA

transition. change. newness. different. upheaval. shift. passage

Last week I joined some teammates to offer a dinner and discussion for those who have come to work in our office from other countries. We had all experienced moving to a new place and there was much empathy expressed. We talked about the emotions, information, difficulties, and helpers.

While transitions can be painful, they are a source of creativity, growth and transformation.
~ Linda Naiman

No transition is easy – whether it is a new country or a new job, new city, or new stage of life. Here are a few things I have learned that help us to thrive, even during a difficult time of change:

  • Develop optimism – Be realistic, but also optimistic. Optimistic people tend to see troubles as temporary, controllable, and specific to the situation, whereas pessimists believe troubles are permanent, uncontrollable, and will undermine EVERYTHING they do. Healthy perspective is powerful. How are you viewing the transition?
  • Find meaning and purpose even in hard times – Staying connected to the important people in your life or doing something to help others lessens the focus on personal pain and the temptation for self-pity. What could you do for somebody else?
  • Take control – Focus on what you CAN do – small steps, little things, your personal care: sleep, exercise, nutrition; quality time reading or praying. What is something positive you can do today?
  • Be creative – Creative expression has the power to heal emotions, lower stress, and nurture the soul. When we get completely absorbed in a creative process, we relax and refresh our energy for the transition process. What creative outlet could you enjoy in your new place?
  • Improvise – Resilient people know how to solve problems using a variety of available materials. Do you remember the movie, Apollo 13? Mission control helped the crew use spare spacecraft parts to protect their limited air and return to earth safely. What could you improvise today to meet a need or fill a gap caused by your change?

Is there anything you would add to this list? What has helped you make it through change and transitions?

focus. focus. focus.

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eyeHave a big project to finish?

Do you put it off until the last minute? Do you start well, but putter out near the end?  Do you charge through and end strong? Do you have a hard time focusing and get easily distracted?

Just this morning I emailed away my draft copy of my MA capstone paper. It felt wonderful to hit the “send” button, but it was not an easy process. The final work is still not done. I will receive feedback from the MA advisor and continue on the project until early December. I am so very ready to graduate!

To send off the draft copy, I spent the last three days completely focused on the paper. It was not an easy thing for this sunshine-loving, active extrovert to do, but necessary for the goal. I read this morning a few tips about focus by Michael Hyatt. They may come in handy in the next weeks… or they may help you!

Here’s my version of his list:

Get a good (night’s) rest. Not always easy for me to do, especially when the workload is great, but sleep is important for energy,creativity, positivity, and clear thinking. Lack of sleep makes me groggy, grouchy, and grumpy… not good for high-performance functioning. Some people find that a nap gives a quick boost.

Exercise (in the morning). I love the way I feel AFTER a workout, not before! I greatly prefer a morning run, but even a brisk walk in the evening can help keep the blood flowing and refresh the body for the task. Gotta love endorphins!

Eat a healthy (breakfast). Hyatt specifically mentions breakfast, but I’d say eat healthy all day. More protein, fruit and veggie snacks, less sugar and junk make me feel lots better when I have to put in hours of effort.

Avoid interruptions. To really make progress on the paper, I had to stay at home alone, say “no” to fun invitations from friends, and avoid social media. Hyatt suggests turning off notifications on computer and phone.

Play music. Music can distract me, but maybe this will help you. Choose music that improves your concentration.

Set a timer.  I’ve known others who do this. Concentrate hard for an hour – or any time that works for you – then take a quick stand-up, stretch, walk-around, eat-something break… and then get back to it. Sessions with a stopping point encourage us to give the best we have for that time frame.

Well, I have to get back to work now! I have some other projects to focus on. 🙂

How do you focus on an important project? Share your tips with the rest of us! 

___________

If you’d like to read Michael Hyatt’s original post (he has lots of other good ones too!), just click here!

to celebrate or not to celebrate

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Photo credit: Theresa Thompson / Foter / CC BY

Photo credit: Theresa Thompson / Foter / CC BY

This past week I celebrated my birthday!

Years ago, I had no desire to advertise that fact. It wasn’t that I wanted to hide my age; I just have never been one who enjoys all the focused attention that a birthday entails. I am not fond of birthday parties for myself (although there have been a few exceptions), and I definitely do not like surprise birthday parties. (It probably has something to do with wanting control. That should be fairly obvious if you have read a few of my posts! 🙂 )

Despite that historical background, I have changed my tune when it comes to birthday celebrations. I’m sure my years living in Mexico had something to do with my new attitude. In Mexico, there is always a good reason to have a party! Celebration is an important part of life. Birthdays, especially, get lots of attention… hugs, phone calls, words of affirmation, songs, gifts, cakes, piñatas, meals out, parties… it’s all good! In church settings, the birthday celebrator often stands up front during the service and gives thanks to God for the gift of another year of life.

That tradition touched my heart.

At my age, now 54, I have had to say good-bye to too many friends – many who were younger even than me. I am well aware that not everyone gets to celebrate 54 years of life. I am blessed. I do not want to take that for granted.

Instead of ignoring the accomplishment, I want to be thankful.

So… parties still are not my favorite means of celebration, but I do like to spend quality time with people I love; I really enjoy hearing from family and friends; and I love to do something special or go somewhere fun to intentionally recognize the milestone and express my gratitude. (This year it was a day at Hollywood Studios with my wonderful husband!)

Birthdays have become a very worthy celebration for me.

How do you feel about celebrating your birthday? What are some special things that you do to recognize the day?

facing future challenges

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googleAlmost two years ago, my organization made a major shift to Google for our email client and file and calendar sharing. It has been a painful headache for some and an immense joy for others. I fall more towards the joy side, although it has been a steep learning curve for me too.

I am a learner, and I love systems that help me interact with others – even globally – while getting work done, so Google has won me over. I think Google has figured out some key principles that can make a big difference for the future. Here are a few of them:

  • Power has shifted from the organization to the client/consumer, and expectations are higher than ever. We can’t offer a sub-par product, at least not for long. Bad reviews trump clever marketing. Today, great products win. 
  • Most organizations today set up to minimize risk, not maximize freedom and speed. We tend to hoard information and restrict decision-making power. We need to move and change faster. We need to let go and empower.
  • We need more “Smart Creatives” – people who combine technical knowledge, business expertise, and creativity. They can do amazing things and have big impact. We need to recruit these people and provide an environment for them to thrive.
  • Smart Creatives like authenticity, small teams, plans that offer freedom and fluidity, involvement in decision-making, LOTS of communication, crazy goals, prototypes, and freedom to fail.

Communication is as important as decision-making,
and like decision-making,
it is something that most leaders think they are good at.

They are mostly wrong.

These principles challenge me when I think about my work and how I view the ideas and opinions of the coming generations… even my children.

If you want to think more about these ideas, you will enjoy the following SlideShare presentation. It is the basis for my content above.


What do you think are key principles for leaders and organizations as we move towards the future?