thriving in transition

stepping stones

Photo credit: ffela / Foter / CC BY-NC-SA

transition. change. newness. different. upheaval. shift. passage

Last week I joined some teammates to offer a dinner and discussion for those who have come to work in our office from other countries. We had all experienced moving to a new place and there was much empathy expressed. We talked about the emotions, information, difficulties, and helpers.

While transitions can be painful, they are a source of creativity, growth and transformation.
~ Linda Naiman

No transition is easy – whether it is a new country or a new job, new city, or new stage of life. Here are a few things I have learned that help us to thrive, even during a difficult time of change:

  • Develop optimism – Be realistic, but also optimistic. Optimistic people tend to see troubles as temporary, controllable, and specific to the situation, whereas pessimists believe troubles are permanent, uncontrollable, and will undermine EVERYTHING they do. Healthy perspective is powerful. How are you viewing the transition?
  • Find meaning and purpose even in hard times – Staying connected to the important people in your life or doing something to help others lessens the focus on personal pain and the temptation for self-pity. What could you do for somebody else?
  • Take control – Focus on what you CAN do – small steps, little things, your personal care: sleep, exercise, nutrition; quality time reading or praying. What is something positive you can do today?
  • Be creative – Creative expression has the power to heal emotions, lower stress, and nurture the soul. When we get completely absorbed in a creative process, we relax and refresh our energy for the transition process. What creative outlet could you enjoy in your new place?
  • Improvise – Resilient people know how to solve problems using a variety of available materials. Do you remember the movie, Apollo 13? Mission control helped the crew use spare spacecraft parts to protect their limited air and return to earth safely. What could you improvise today to meet a need or fill a gap caused by your change?

Is there anything you would add to this list? What has helped you make it through change and transitions?

feeling lost

I got lost three times on the way home from the airport. On the way there for the first time, I wrote down the three highway #’s and took duplicate toll money from my wallet, so that I would be ready for the trip home. The difference was that on the way there, next to each highway # sign, there were others that directed me: » » » AIRPORT. In contrast, on the way home there were no signs that said: » » » Terry’s Apartment. They only mentioned exit East/West or North/South… and although I had the highway #’s, I had no idea which direction would take me home.

Have you ever felt lost? A new city? New job? New life-stage?

Getting lost is just part of being only two days in a new city. The newness of a move also includes no food in the fridge, chaos of boxes everywhere, meeting new people and finding new places, exhaustion and uncertainties. I am really grateful for the few special, sentimental items we brought with us – pictures, blankets, pottery – that make this new apartment feel like “home”. They help bridge my old life to my new life; they add security and continuity to my transition.

What helps you handle change? Do you continue traditions, pack special mementos, visit familiar restaurants? 

I know intellectually that it can take a year to feel at “home” in a new place. Emotionally I want it to feel like home now! I am trying to implement a few healthy practices to help with the change…

Laugh: I’m learning to laugh at myself, at the new adventures gone wrong, at all I don’t know… and laugh with others, making new friends and good memories. Some tears are inevitable, but I can find reasons to laugh too.

Let Go: I’m trying not to compare the old with the new. I figure it’s OK for me to miss special people and places, but I need to give this new place a chance. It will feel different for me – not as good in some ways, but maybe better in others. I want to keep my eyes – and my heart – open for the “new and improved”. 🙂

Learn: I have so much to discover – new best practices, “insider” tips, local haunts… If I take the initiative, observe, and ask a lot of questions, I bet I’ll find a lot of great treats and treasures in this new life.

How do you look forward to the “new” in your life?