milestone | maturitas cafe

photo credit: Sofiya Levchenko on Unsplash

I celebrated my 60th a few weeks ago. I don’t feel a lot older, but I took full advantage and enjoyed the special festivities. My family all came together for a few days of getting away for island and everglades bike rides, beach relaxation, and dolphin-filled sunsets. Our time together has given me hundreds of photos and treasured memories.

I was also gifted a video collage summarizing encouraging, funny, and love-filled greetings sent by family and friends from all over the world and all my decades of life. I wept as I listened to the kind words and remembered the special moments when my life intersected with all those special people. I will re-watch that video many times.

The video prompted me to think about the years gone by and then to reflect on the last decade.

I’ve heard it said that we (way) overestimate what we can accomplish in a day
but (way) underestimate what we can accomplish in a year.

I think that phrase must be only more true when thinking about a decade. This year has been crazy, but it will likely not have the same intensity of impact when considered as part of the entire next decade.

I decided to take some time and reflect on the last decade. I looked through my calendar and photos, and wow, much has happened in my previous ten years. I made lists in my journal and drew out the more impact-filled events on a timeline to see a visual layout.

A sampling:

Completed MA in Global Leadership
Moved back to the US after almost 20 years living in Mexico
Grieved final goodbyes to all of our parents
Downsized and bought our “empty nester’s” townhome
Traveled to Canada, Chad, China, Israel, Kenya, Nigeria, Turkey, UK, Uzbekistan, Zimbabwe
Ran 1/2 marathon
Gained and lost a son-in-law (divorce)
Wrote and spoke on Unhurried Living
Children graduated from college – moved closer and farther away
Began to live with less toxins and more sustainability
Purchased first smartphone, Vaio & Surface computers, Apple watch
Started a blog 🙂

There are lots of changes in that list – fun times, travel, accomplishments. Lots of pain, weariness, grieving. Somewhere in those ten years, I watched the movie “Inside Out” and learned the profound truth that joy and sadness sit at the same table. I am learning to be ok living in that reality.

Some of the experiences were mine; some were primarily others’ stories that affected mine. We don’t live in an isolated bubble. When we love and care deeply for others, their journeys weave interdependently into ours.

I have learned much in these years. I have new passions, new concerns, new ways of doing things. I am healthier and more involved in the well-being of the world around me.

I am not the same person I was ten years ago – not even close. My eyes are open to things I never wanted to know. My heart is tender to people I never considered before. I am broken in ways I never expected and also more resilient than I could have hoped or imagined. I am grateful for those changes, but I have paid a steep price for that growth.

I am more aware of my fragileness and the short time I have left on this earth. I am more intentional about how I spend my time and how I treat the people God brings across my path. I sense a genuine urgency to invest my energy and past experiences well – believing that tomorrow is not guaranteed – I only have today for sure – and I want to treasure that time.

Reflection has been good for my soul. It brings me gratitude and perspective and wisdom. I trust the scars and precious memories will guide my future choices and next steps. I know only too well that not everyone gets to celebrate this milestone, and I am very thankful for the years I’ve had.

What have you done to reflect and process a past year or decade?

Photo credit: Theresa Thompson / Foter / CC BY

This past week I celebrated my birthday!

Years ago, I had no desire to advertise that fact. It wasn’t that I wanted to hide my age; I just have never been one who enjoys all the focused attention that a birthday entails. I am not fond of birthday parties for myself (although there have been a few exceptions), and I definitely do not like surprise birthday parties. (It probably has something to do with wanting control. That should be fairly obvious if you have read a few of my posts! 🙂 )

Despite that historical background, I have changed my tune when it comes to birthday celebrations. I’m sure my years living in Mexico had something to do with my new attitude. In Mexico, there is always a good reason to have a party! Celebration is an important part of life. Birthdays, especially, get lots of attention… hugs, phone calls, words of affirmation, songs, gifts, cakes, piñatas, meals out, parties… it’s all good! In church settings, the birthday celebrator often stands up front during the service and gives thanks to God for the gift of another year of life.

That tradition touched my heart.

At my age, now 54, I have had to say good-bye to too many friends – many who were younger even than me. I am well aware that not everyone gets to celebrate 54 years of life. I am blessed. I do not want to take that for granted.

Instead of ignoring the accomplishment, I want to be thankful.

So… parties still are not my favorite means of celebration, but I do like to spend quality time with people I love; I really enjoy hearing from family and friends; and I love to do something special or go somewhere fun to intentionally recognize the milestone and express my gratitude. (This year it was a day at Hollywood Studios with my wonderful husband!)