Category Archives: team

how to encourage others

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I love to receive encouragement of all kinds, don’t you? Encouragement comes in many forms: a thank you note, positive words, a tip that moves my idea forward, a hug, a smile…

In an earlier post I compared motivation and encouragement. As part of the research for that post, I asked some of the incredible ladies I worked with to answer the questions: What makes you feel motivated? What encourages you?

I so appreciate their honest feedback. They mentioned things I do well and areas where I can improve. I took the liberty to group their answers into general categories that help me remember the ideas. I learned a lot from what they shared; I think you will also!

Demonstrate Interest

    • A genuine interest about what is happening in life
    • A genuine desire to understand – ideas/thoughts
    • Listening
    • Quality time together one-on-one working on character issues
    • Confrontation/correction done in love
    • Grace extended rather than judgement for mistakes/errors

Believe

    • Help with specific areas of need: organization, personal discipline
    • Encouragement to develop potential in new areas
    • Belief in, promotion of, resources for visions/dreams/projects

Express Appreciation

    • Receiving words of affirmation, “please” and “thank you”
    • Personalized and informed recognition given for a job well done, effort expended, and/or talents
    • Sincere appreciation/value/importance expressed (spoken, note, email) for work
    • The opportunity to see specific/useful results and impact from efforts
    • Recognition of growth/progress in personal/professional areas

Add Personal Touch

    • Vulnerability on the part of the supervisor
    • A hug or pat on the back
    • Small personalized gifts – coffee, coke zero, chocolate 🙂
    • Prayers

I am very grateful for the encouragement I have received from others when I needed it. I want to get better at encouraging others. This list gives me lots of ideas… I am sure I can find something here that I can use each day to encourage someone.

What would you add to this list? What encourages you?

motivation and encouragement

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photo courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I really enjoy mentoring young leaders.Others have told me that I am an encourager, and after many years, I think I finally believe that is true. For that reason, when I came out low in “motivation” in a recent 360 evaluation, I took that feedback soberly and began to ask questions and do some research.

I originally thought the two actions were similar and wondered how could I be good at one and weak at the other? When I compared the definitions between encourage and motivate, I realized there are some key differences.

Various dictionaries define the two words this way:

Encourage – 1: to inspire with courage, confidence, or hope, 2: to stimulate, spur on, 3: to give help or support. Synonyms are: inspirit, hearten, or embolden – the idea being to fill with courage or strength of purpose, or to raise one’s confidence especially by an external agency.

Motivate – 1: to provide with a motive, 2: to give incentive to; move to action; impel. Motivation = a motivating force, stimulus, or influence

I checked the Bible also, and there are very few references to motivate or motivation – most references warn against wrong or evil motives. Encouragement, on the other hand, appears at least 35 times – often associated with strengthen and perseverance during action already in process.

www.PsychologyToday.com says that, “Motivation is literally the desire to do things. It’s the difference between waking up before dawn to pound the pavement and lazing around the house all day. It’s the crucial element in setting and attaining goals—and research shows you can influence your own levels of motivation and self-control….”

Frederick Herzberg’s Two-Factor Theory, (intrinsic/extrinsic motivation), suggests that the factors that motivate people can change over their lifetime, but respect as a person is one of the top motivating factors at any stage of life.

I recognize that I am basically a self-motivated person. I wake up in the morning with motive, incentive, purpose.I don’t need someone else to move me to action… I am already ready to go! As the day goes on, however, I can get discouraged, worn out, or tired by the struggles, conflicts, and challenges that battle against my goals and desires.

That is when I really appreciate encouragement from others… a bit of “You can do it!” or “I believe in you” keeps me moving forward..

When someone has a vision, dream or calling, I love to encourage them… letting them know I believe in them, cheering them on when they are battle-weary, and looking for ways to provide resources to help them.

I realize that I am weak when others lack desire, vision and motivation. If they don’t already have a goal, something they want to accomplish, or a purpose for action, then I feel at a loss for how to help them.

From my study so far I have learned that I can improve my ability to motivate by communicating and imparting vision better and more often. I can also ask others what motivates them and learn about incentives and reasons for action. I can work to treat people with respect. Maybe one of the most important things I can do is to pray for the person. Motivation is going to grow from within… and it is God who is best at changing the heart.

Do you like to motivate or encourage others, or maybe both? How do you do that?

lessons learned climbing a volcano

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We had an incredible time climbing the Iztaccihuatl volcano yesterday. (Here you can read a blog my husband wrote about the volcano legend.) It was a demanding ascent through the snow to over 16,000 feet elevation. I learned some important lessons from the experience; I don’t want to forget them because I believe they are relevant to so much of life and leadership.

  • push beyond the comfort zone

This kind-of hike is not a normal everyday activity for anyone in our group. It was difficult – physically and emotionally… legs hurt; lungs ached; wet and cold harassed; nausea and headaches assailed, fear attacked; exhaustion was real. However, at the end, even those who had suffered most claimed it was a (horribly) awesome experience.

Isn’t it true that we often get to great achievement only through agonizing struggle? There is something very satisfying about pushing through the challenge to accomplish something worthwhile. Where can I push myself beyond my comfort zone to a greater challenge…physically, emotionally, spiritually, relationally, intellectually?

  •  prepare and take care

Without a doubt, previous exercise routine, warm wool and polyurethane clothing, and hiking quality boots made the climb easier. Extra socks, hats and gloves came in handy, as did the lemon-grass tea and the Ibuprofen and Excedrin tablets. It was also important to drink plenty of water and re-apply sunscreen throughout the day. (I learned this hard lesson last year – I paid a heavy price in sore muscles due to dehydration.)

It makes no sense to take on a big challenge unprepared. Strengthening ahead of time and planning well means I am ready for the test and can even support others. How am I training today for tomorrow’s challenges? What can I do better prepare for the future?

  • go with others

During the day we talked, laughed, took pictures and praised God’s creation together. All along the climb, different people battled seriously with fatigue, cold, fear, altitude sickness, and pain while others took turns to encourage each next step, accompany those who needed rest, help and protect on the treacherous slopes, share food/medicine/clothing supplies, and celebrate and rejoice at each milestone. I was so proud of those who persevered when it was tough and of those who served when others were weak. We made an incredible memory and “bonded” because of what we went through together.

I would never consider attempting a climb like that alone, and I was so impressed by the support and camaraderie offered that enabled others to achieve more than they could by themselves.  I need that kind of team in all areas of my life. Who encourages me? And who am I helping to accomplish what they could never do alone?

What have you learned from a challenging experience? Are you ready for the next one?

are you happy to see me?

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My dog Mandy loves me. She wags her whole body as soon as she sees me. She dances a little jig, and if I would let her, she would joyfully do a five foot vertical leap to kiss me smack on the lips. Sometimes I forget to feed her on time, sometimes her water dish goes dry, sometimes I don’t give her any attention all day… It doesn’t matter; I don’t deserve it, but she is always happy to see me. 

People aren’t like that.

Henry Cloud, Patrick Lencioni and others state that one of the most important elements in relationships is trust… and I have to deserve it; I have to build it; I have to earn it. I have learned a lot about trust from Henry Cloud’s book, Integrity.

  • The first way that I earn trust is by connecting authentically with others. People feel like I connect with them if I listen for understanding – really hear them, with empathy and validation for their concerns. Connection happens when the people I work with feel that I truly value them, that I care, that I invest in them. I will not always do what they suggest, but they know I will hear them out, consider their ideas, and never discount how I affect them with my actions.
  • Trust is also built by looking out for other’s interests. Cloud calls this “extending favor”. In other words, I am “watching their back”, and I am on their side. That doesn’t mean that I don’t have goals or performance standards, but it means that I will do all I can to help, train, encourage or provide resources so that others are successful. If I have built trust, they can be confident that I will always speak well of them, and I will always speak up for them. They never have to worry that they might “get on my bad side” or that I might turn on them.
  • I also build trust by balancing power and vulnerability. Others can trust me when they see that I make things happen and get things down. I earn trust when I am competent and responsible, and when I follow through with what I said I would do. On the flip side, I also need to acknowledge my mistakes and faults at times. When I am authentic about my own challenges, others gain courage to face their own. When I am honest about my weaknesses and needs, others can identity; they are often willing to help, and we build more trust in the process.

Since trust is the basis of relationships, I need be constantly evaluating how I am doing in my relationships at work and at home. Am I connecting? Do they know I care? Do they know that I am “for” them?  Can they depend on me to get things done? Have I been real with them?

Are they happy to see me?

How do you build trust? How have others earned your trust?

(** If you enjoyed this post, you might also like “how’s my wake?” – more from Henry Cloud’s book, Integrity.)

a place to belong, a place to become

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We are finishing 17+ years of ministry in Mexico; we are sorting through our stuff, passing the baton… and my husband has been putting up (very) old pictures on Facebook. Some of those years of ministry were amazing – incredible growth, excitement, impact. As I reflected on that time, I realized we were living out our values. Those values are still relevant today as we move forward…

Faith: We all trusted God for big things and took steps of faith. We moved our family – with four young children – to a different country and started something new where there was nothing. We led an international team; many of them had also left their comfort zone and moved from their homes. Students took steps of faith to begin a relationship with God even when they faced family and friends’ rejection. Staff and students shared their faith boldly with others, took on new responsibilities, asked God to take charge of their future.

Where is God asking me to take a step of faith?

Development – Growth:  We committed to growing in community and building others to be all they could be. We prayed for our teammates and disciples, and created and followed through with semester plans for basic teaching, experiences, retreats, summer projects, etc. to provide an environment for growth. We worked in teams and shared leadership often. We moved out of the way and let others lead. We invited in teams from other places. We learned from them; they learned from us.

What am I doing to develop personally and those around me?

Effectiveness – Fruitfulness: We cared about results. Effectiveness meant fruit of changed lives – for eternity. We evaluated our goals and progress regularly – individually and organizationally. We asked for feedback from others and willingly changed the format of the meetings, tried crazy ideas, invented new materials. Sometimes we did something different to compensate for a weakness, sometimes to adjust for incredible growth. We did not settle for status quo.

Have I done an honest evaluation lately? Do I need to make some changes for greater effectiveness?

Unity: Our work on campus had incredible unity in purpose and personal relationships. Different cultures, backgrounds, fields of study, ages came to learn and grow together. Our early theme was ” a place to belong, a place to become“. Our teams of staff and students worked hard, side by side to create amazing skits, parties, outreaches, and conferences for a vision and passion bigger than themselves. Students sacrificed their time and money for each other. New people were welcome and deep, authentic, caring, long-lasting friendships came from studying the Word, praying, …and eating and playing together!  

What am I doing to build unity with my team or my organization?  

Integrity: Along with all the fun, there were also tough times. We confronted lying, bribery, immorality, interpersonal conflicts, suicide attempts – temptations and spiritual battles of all kinds. We did not ignore, hide, or excuse any behavior that might be a seed of division between people and God. We taught that God cares about every part of us; we cannot have sin in one area without it affecting the rest of us. We tried to live that example also.

Is there an area of my life that lacks integrity?

How would you respond to those questions? How do you make where you work or minister a place to belong and a place to become?

(**If you were involved in the ministry, please share with us what you remember!)

follow the leader is no game

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The last few years, I have been in many positions of leadership. At the same time, I have always had a boss, a director or a leader over me.  I have heard seminars, been to trainings and read books about leading… I have never received input about following well.

In the New Testament, Jesus spoke of following much more often than He did of leading. It is clear that following is a choice – following Him or following the enemy. Thinking about it, I realize that being a good follower is really important. As I follow others, I reflect how well I follow Jesus.  I want to be a good follower.

What does being a good follower mean? I’ve grouped some of my first thoughts into three simple categories so I can easily evaluate how I am doing…

ATTITUDES: Heart attitude is the first place for me to look.

  • Do I pray for my leader? I mean do I really pray regularly, specifically, taking the initiative to ask about their needs? During my years as a national leader, I could count on one hand the people who asked me how they could pray for me. That was hard – I often felt alone.  I want my leaders to know that they can count on me to pray for them.
  • Do I believe the best of them?  No leader is perfect – far from it. I know I forgot to say thank you, arrived late, planned poorly, lacked vision, acted selfishly, and criticized others at times… but it was never because I woke up in the morning and decided, “I am going to intentionally be a bad leader and do harm to some people today.” Do I believe my leaders want to do their best? Do I give them grace to fail? Am I patient before passing judgement?

WORDS: Do my words indicate that I am a good follower?

  • Do I tell my leader “thank you” when I see them work hard, when they do something well, when they invest in my development? How do I speak about my leader to others? Do I express respect for their position and them personally? Do I encourage others to do the same?
  • If I don’t agree with something, do I go directly to them to clarify and understand the issue? When I led, I was so grateful for those who came and spoke to me directly – even if they were frustrated or angry with me. Those difficult conversations ultimately strengthened our relationship. Unfortunately, they were few. More often gossip, behind the back criticism, and mutiny damaged relationships. I have committed to speak directly with my leader if I am unsure of something, if I don’t agree, or if I am hurt. No excuses.

ACTIONS: Do I support my leader/boss/director with my actions?

  • Do I bring a positive attitude, a servant spirit, and a learner mindset to the job each day? Or do I act entitled? Demand perks? Have a victim mindset?
  • Do I do the best work that I can for my leader? Do I work hard my full hours, take the initiative to offer suggestions, do a quality job? Do I do what I am asked? Am I honest, responsible and trustworthy? Is my leader more effective because I have his/her back?

It is worth asking, “Would I want me as a follower?”

Help me learn… What do you look for in a good follower?  What do you think is important for someone to follow well?

teamwork magic #2 – working together

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Once you have formed your dream team, now the magic begins, right? Not exactly… In the real world, working effectively together always requires commitment and work. Here are a few tips I have learned from the “hard knocks” of experience…

Pray together: Do not neglect the power of prayer to build relationships and provide wisdom for the job. Share personal requests and pray fervently for the issues you face together in the ministry.

Develop as a team: Be committed to learning and growing together. No one on the team already knows everything there is to know about each other, about teamwork, or about the challenges you face on the job.  A healthy team will set aside some time in every meeting to discuss a book they are reading together, listen to a podcast, or visit with a mentor.  If possible, get away once or twice a year for a more in-depth time of development; take the Birkman as a team, process a 360 evaluation, or attend a conference together.

Destroy Silos: Watch out for team members who can not or will not focus on the good of the team. They may feel passionate for or overwhelmed by their own responsibilities; but mature team players learn to “wear more than one hat” and to prioritize the overall well-being of the organization. Help each team member to be successful in their area, but do not allow a team member to give preferential treatment to their staff only.

Improve Communication Skills: Prepare a team pact and team norms… and review and apply them diligently. Discuss together how you will ensure that everyone is heard during meetings.  How will you draw in the introverts and control the extroverts?  Learn new brainstorming and creative thinking tools. Decide together what kind of issues will come to the table for team discussion and which issues can be dealt with by empowered individuals or task forces. Use visuals and share meeting facilitation and presentations so that all can improve their skills.

Practice Biblical Conflict Resolution: Do not allow passive-aggressive behaviors: procrastination, stubbornness, resentment, sullenness, or gossip.  Be super-committed to protecting each other in word and deed.  Do not allow a member to condescend to a decision in the meeting and then sabotage the implementation later. Deal with conflict quickly and directly; use love, tact, and grace. Follow up on agreed upon necessary changes. Never settle for cordial artificial peace with teammates; true respect and unity is so much better.

Implement Decision Making Processes: Different processes are appropriate for different decisions depending on scope and complexity.  Sometimes a team member decides, sometimes the director determines, sometimes the majority rules, sometimes consensus is the best option… If you use consensus, watch out for team members who consistently stall every important decision. When you find that you cannot make progress in important areas, it is probably time to use a different process.

Have fun: Healthy teams enjoy being together – at work and at play. Celebrate accomplishments, goals reached, and personal achievements. Use music, color, food, humor and venue change to keep the “magic” in your times together.

What do you think adds the “magic” to teamwork?

is there magic in teams?

Aside

Sometimes we act as if we can put a few random people together, call them a team, and we will automatically obtain magical results. All of a sudden, miraculously people will be happier, progress will be faster, productivity will be greater.

I love working on teams.
I have had incredibly positive experiences working on highly effective teams. I have also had horrendously miserable experiences working on dysfunctional teams. I can tell you… there is nothing magical about a team! Healthy, effective, highly productive teams require work – preliminary work in forming the team… and continual effort working together as a team.

From my experience, these are some of the most important errors to avoid when building a leadership team: 

  • If you are going to have a team leader – have a good one.

Do not pick a leader just because he is a “nice guy”. Do not pick a leader who has no vision for the team or who isn’t willing to work hard to turn the vision into reality. On the other hand, do not pick a leader who is a control-freak or who is hesitant or incapable of building and developing the people around them. If you are considering someone who has a track record of feeble results or a history of working alone… don’t do it!

If at all possible, pick a leader who has a proven track record as a visionary who also makes things happen by working together well with others. If that person doesn’t exist at the time, it might be better to create a “peer team” and share the leadership responsibilities. Consider term limits – you don’t want to place someone in leadership who won’t step aside so others can lead in the future.

  • Consider the emotional and spiritual maturity of each potential team member. 

Do not invite team members who constantly criticize (very different from critical thinkers) and complain. Do not accept people who take all the credit for themselves when there is success and then act as victims or blame others when challenges come. Steer clear of anyone who evades honest evaluation and direct communication. Unhealthy people = unhealthy teams.

You are not looking for perfect people, but rather people who are learning and growing – if possible, those with a track record of healthy relationships with others… those who know they aren’t perfect and openly recognize their need for others, and those who walk humbly with their God and give grace to others. Choose those who actively pursue community and accountability in their life… who have a good attitude and encourage others.

  • Don’t just yell desperately for “help” and take anyone who comes running.

(Been there. Done that. Paid the consequences.) Sometimes the people who respond to a crisis actually like crisis… and continue to create them in order to stay busy helping to fix them. This is not a good person for your team. Do not choose people simply because of seniority. Do not choose people just to fill the gap.

In the long run, it is better to learn a position empty, than to fill it with the wrong person. Evaluate your own strengths and weaknesses and those of your present team members – if you have one. Have an idea of where you want to go, and then recruit intentionally – more admin, more vision, more HR, more Ops, more crazy, more fun… depending on the need. Choose people who bring skill, experience, and excellence in their area of expertise. Add diversity (age/gender/nationality/etc) whenever possible.

Now ask yourself… do I work well with others, dream visions and get things done? Am I humble and growing? Do I bring value and excellence to our team?  

Would others want me on their team? Would I add to the “magic”?

Let’s learn together… What has been your experience with forming a team?

(In the next blog, I will write about working together as a team.)

no more “mr. nice guy”

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I have been reading recently about Joseph in Genesis 41, specifically the passage where Pharaoh first calls the magicians and wise-men to interpret his dreams, but they “couldn’t do it”. Reviewing the dreams, the interpretation seems fairly obvious for experienced wise-men. Personally, I think they actually could have interpreted the dreams… they just didn’t want to bear the bad news. They chose diplomacy over honesty. They acted like “nice guys”.

I have experienced this same situation too many times. People who would rather tell me what they think I “want” to hear, rather than the truth. Avoiding direct confrontation and difficult conversations led to gossip behind my back or other’s. The desire to be known as a “nice guy”, liked by all, caused leaders to deny or avoid a problem.

Avoiding the truth is not helpful.  By hiding the truth, the supposed wise-men missed the opportunity to help Pharaoh change and prepare for the future. Joseph, on the other hand, spoke the truth… AND he was available to come alongside Pharaoh and help him with the necessary changes. Truth is not the opposite of grace. We don’t pick one or the other. We can choose a “both-and” situation. Tell the truth AND graciously be available to come alongside and bring about change.

I have watched leaders avoid the truth – because of fear, or discomfort, or a desire for acceptance – and it never helped. It always made the problem worse. If it was a person whose behavior was inappropriate, they did not get better on their own. Instead, their negative behavior often increased, and the personal or work relationship deteriorated greatly.

If it was a policy or integrity issue that was at stake, the situation did not improve as a result of neglect or passivity. Social entropy caused cooperation to move toward conflict and chaos. Procrastination only made problem resolution more costly in the end.

Truth AND grace can be priority in your life and work.

  • Honest evaluations with your staff – Use 360 evaluations, regular feedback sessions, stats analysis – give lots of encouragement and focus on the positive, but don’t ignore the growth areas. We all need to admit our errors and be continually willing to grow. Work to make honest evaluations a norm with your people.
  • Deal with poor behavior – Have the difficult conversations AND forgive and help your staff move towards change. Giving grace does not equal license. Deal with the error/weakness/sin as quickly as possible. Use respect, tact, discernment and even humor, but tell the truth directly to the person who needs to hear it. “Letting it go” or talking to others rather than to the one involved, only means it will be harder to deal with in the future.
  • Honest evaluations of organizational situations – Be willing to make difficult decisions. Do not overlook debt-producing financial patterns, lack of integrity, poor performance, or any other reality that threatens the organization. As in Joseph’s situation, honest evaluation combined with strategic problem solving can create systems and solutions that will overcome the challenges and lead to a hopeful, healthy future.

Are you sometimes tempted to act like a “Mr. Nice Guy”?

Where can you apply grace AND truth today?

multicultural team or tension?

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As our world becomes more connected globally, today’s organizations need an atmosphere that encourages a multicultural work environment. However it is a big mistake to simply put a group of international leaders on a team and expect them to achieve great results. There will be many differing values on an international team, and we need to help our leaders understand and appreciate each other in order to work together more effectively.

One great tool I have found is a book I am reading for my M.A. in Global Leadership  – When Cultures Collide: Leading Across Cultures, by Richard D. Lewis. A helpful explanation of general nationality differences divides the world’s cultures into three groups: Linear-Actives, Multi-Actives and Reactives.  

See if you recognize yourself and/or some of your co-workers or teammates in one these groups!

Linear-Actives Common characteristics of this group are affinity for schedules and plans, preference for objective data and information, task focus, less emotional and relational connections. Communication with Linear-Actives will be direct, to the point, and optimistic, often decorated with humor and idiomatic phrases.  They are quite linear in their view of time and appreciate punctuality.  Promotion at work is a result of hard work and productivity. They are known to do very well with small talk at dinner parties, but prefer all business during meetings. This group is the smallest of the three, with around 600 million members.

Multi-Actives  The Multi-Active group has over three billion members, making it the largest group. The Multi-Actives have an extroverted and loquacious manner, multitasking capabilities, and interdependent, net-working relationships. Conversation with a Multi-Active is passionate, animated, descriptive and personal. Schedule is subordinate to relationship and the event of the moment. Multi-Actives are stereotypically known for arriving late for appointments and for eating dinner late into the evening. Entry and advance in the workplace is often a result of family and/or other loyalty connections. Compassion and human understanding motivate Multi-Actives to action.

Reactives The third group that Lewis describes is the Reactive group. They have over one and one-half billion members around the world. This group is typically quiet and reserved, good listeners, respectful of others’ needs and desires, principle oriented and very concerned with saving face in relationships. They have a cyclical view of time. Communication will likely be more formal, polite, complimentary, with plenty of periods of silence. Reactives are known for their extravagant gift giving and their harmonious relationships.

Recognition of different national culture values is just one step toward understanding. There are many other cultural value differences that factor into team relationships: age, gender, personality, profession, etc.  Our authentic respect for each other and our sincere willingness to make adjustments to each other are key components to international team success. More about how to do that in a future blog…

With which group do you identify?

What has your experience been like in international settings?  

Please share a comment so that we can learn together!