fulfill – a word for 2014

I’ve been thinking about this for awhile. The last two years, I have picked one word to represent how I want to focus in the next year. It is a great exercise to consider what is happening in my life and how I want to grow. I encourage you to try this too!

For 2014, I have picked FULFILL.

The verb fulfill means to fill a need or want. To fulfill yourself personally means to follow your inner passion no matter who thinks it’s silly.

There are various aspects to this definition. The first idea is to bring to completion or reality; to achieve or realize something desired, promised, or predicted; to carry out a task, duty, or role as required, pledged, or expected. I believe God has created me for a specific purpose, and I want to fulfill that role.

“The place God calls you to is the place
where your deep gladness
and the world’s deep hunger meet.”
― Frederick Buechner, Wishful Thinking: A Theological ABC

The second idea is to gain happiness or satisfaction by fully developing abilities, potential, or character as much as natural ability or gifting makes possible.

“What we hunger for perhaps more than anything else
is to be known in our full humanness,
and yet that is often just what we also fear more than anything else.
It is important to tell at least from time to time the secret of who we truly and fully are . . . because otherwise we run the risk of losing track of who we truly and fully are
and little by little come to accept instead the highly edited version which we put forth
in hope that the world will find it more acceptable than the real thing.”
― Frederick Buechner, Telling Secrets

Too many times I have let other people control what I can dream or what I can do. I have allowed others’ opinions of me determine who I feel free to be.

This year, I want to believe in and act on all that God has created me to be.

I also want to do all that I can to encourage, empower, and resource others to be all that they are created to be and do. No holding back. No limits. Just fulfilled.

I sense a great adventure coming on… 🙂

What word will you pick for 2014?  I’d love to hear about it!

(** For other ideas, feel free to check out some of my words from other years…
2013 – Courage or 2012 – Authentic.)


ratioSix to one. According to a message I heard the other day, that is the ratio of negative to positive comments we say and hear each day – six negative to every one positive.

six times this…

That’s not right. You could have done better. I don’t like that. Why did you do that? Did you have to do that? Can’t you remember anything? You never _____. I’ll just do it myself. Don’t even try. You’ll never amount to anything. 

for every one time of this…

Great job. Thank you. Well done. So creative. That’s excellent work. I like that. Awesome. I appreciate that. I’m impressed. You have real talent. That’s a good idea. You’ll go far. I love you.

That’s not good for anybody. I know that I am highly reactive to negative comments. I have to work really hard not to take criticism personally – even constructive criticism. Negative comments tend to discourage me and diminish my normally optimistic attitude – sometimes for days.

On the other hand, positive, encouraging comments lift my spirits, energize me, and motivate me to try harder. I want to encourage, energize, and motivate others.

So what can I do? Being aware of this reality and being willing to change my words are the first steps. I can also work intentionally to find something positive in people and situations. There is usually something good there, I just have to see it… and say it. I am so quick to mention what I don’t like, but I often hesitate to verbalize what I do.

I want to turn that ratio around this next year. It’s not that complicated… just a few words. Maybe it will become a new habit for me.

How are your words? 

how to encourage others

I love to receive encouragement of all kinds, don’t you? Encouragement comes in many forms: a thank you note, positive words, a tip that moves my idea forward, a hug, a smile…

In an earlier post I compared motivation and encouragement. As part of the research for that post, I asked some of the incredible ladies I worked with to answer the questions: What makes you feel motivated? What encourages you?

I so appreciate their honest feedback. They mentioned things I do well and areas where I can improve. I took the liberty to group their answers into general categories that help me remember the ideas. I learned a lot from what they shared; I think you will also!

Demonstrate Interest

    • A genuine interest about what is happening in life
    • A genuine desire to understand – ideas/thoughts
    • Listening
    • Quality time together one-on-one working on character issues
    • Confrontation/correction done in love
    • Grace extended rather than judgement for mistakes/errors


    • Help with specific areas of need: organization, personal discipline
    • Encouragement to develop potential in new areas
    • Belief in, promotion of, resources for visions/dreams/projects

Express Appreciation

    • Receiving words of affirmation, “please” and “thank you”
    • Personalized and informed recognition given for a job well done, effort expended, and/or talents
    • Sincere appreciation/value/importance expressed (spoken, note, email) for work
    • The opportunity to see specific/useful results and impact from efforts
    • Recognition of growth/progress in personal/professional areas

Add Personal Touch

    • Vulnerability on the part of the supervisor
    • A hug or pat on the back
    • Small personalized gifts – coffee, coke zero, chocolate 🙂
    • Prayers

I am very grateful for the encouragement I have received from others when I needed it. I want to get better at encouraging others. This list gives me lots of ideas… I am sure I can find something here that I can use each day to encourage someone.

What would you add to this list? What encourages you?

motivation and encouragement

photo courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I really enjoy mentoring young leaders.Others have told me that I am an encourager, and after many years, I think I finally believe that is true. For that reason, when I came out low in “motivation” in a recent 360 evaluation, I took that feedback soberly and began to ask questions and do some research.

I originally thought the two actions were similar and wondered how could I be good at one and weak at the other? When I compared the definitions between encourage and motivate, I realized there are some key differences.

Various dictionaries define the two words this way:

Encourage – 1: to inspire with courage, confidence, or hope, 2: to stimulate, spur on, 3: to give help or support. Synonyms are: inspirit, hearten, or embolden – the idea being to fill with courage or strength of purpose, or to raise one’s confidence especially by an external agency.

Motivate – 1: to provide with a motive, 2: to give incentive to; move to action; impel. Motivation = a motivating force, stimulus, or influence

I checked the Bible also, and there are very few references to motivate or motivation – most references warn against wrong or evil motives. Encouragement, on the other hand, appears at least 35 times – often associated with strengthen and perseverance during action already in process.

www.PsychologyToday.com says that, “Motivation is literally the desire to do things. It’s the difference between waking up before dawn to pound the pavement and lazing around the house all day. It’s the crucial element in setting and attaining goals—and research shows you can influence your own levels of motivation and self-control….”

Frederick Herzberg’s Two-Factor Theory, (intrinsic/extrinsic motivation), suggests that the factors that motivate people can change over their lifetime, but respect as a person is one of the top motivating factors at any stage of life.

I recognize that I am basically a self-motivated person. I wake up in the morning with motive, incentive, purpose.I don’t need someone else to move me to action… I am already ready to go! As the day goes on, however, I can get discouraged, worn out, or tired by the struggles, conflicts, and challenges that battle against my goals and desires.

That is when I really appreciate encouragement from others… a bit of “You can do it!” or “I believe in you” keeps me moving forward..

When someone has a vision, dream or calling, I love to encourage them… letting them know I believe in them, cheering them on when they are battle-weary, and looking for ways to provide resources to help them.

I realize that I am weak when others lack desire, vision and motivation. If they don’t already have a goal, something they want to accomplish, or a purpose for action, then I feel at a loss for how to help them.

From my study so far I have learned that I can improve my ability to motivate by communicating and imparting vision better and more often. I can also ask others what motivates them and learn about incentives and reasons for action. I can work to treat people with respect. Maybe one of the most important things I can do is to pray for the person. Motivation is going to grow from within… and it is God who is best at changing the heart.

Do you like to motivate or encourage others, or maybe both? How do you do that?