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Tag Archives: appropriate response

give it to me straight!

Posted on June 4, 2012 by terry morgan
5

I went to grab one of my favorite coffee cups this morning and the handle felt strange, like it was “gloppy”, sticky or hadn’t been cleaned well. I mindlessly rubbed it for a second and it became clear quickly that this was more than a little incomplete washing. I observed more carefully (challenging to do since I was still anticipating my first cup of morning coffee), and it became obvious that the handle was actually collected fragments glued together. 😦  Someone had broken the cup handle, decided not to tell me, and instead glued the evidence back together – I suppose in the hope that I wouldn’t notice? Fat chance! (My friends know I have a bit of a mug fetish…)

This situation reminded me of an “ice breaker” question I once heard… if you were at a friend’s house and the toilet wouldn’t flush after you were in the bathroom, would you tell the host/hostess, or would you try to slip out unobserved and not go through the shame of admitting the fact… and the need for help?

I was greatly surprised at how many people responded that they would be too em-barrassed to tell the truth! As a homeowner with the gift of hospitality who has LOTS of people in her home ALL the time… I can tell you, I WANT TO KNOW if my toilet isn’t functioning!!  I want to be able to fix it and not have the problem get worse with time (no more detail needed, right?).

I also WANT to know if someone broke my mug… not because I really care that much; I just greatly prefer knowing to being surprised by the fact when I groggily reach for my mug in the morning.

I realize that in order to encourage people to tell me the truth, I need to respond correctly when they do… and it is much easier to respond well to a broken mug or a malfunctioning toilet than to respond well to an observed character flaw or an opposing opinion or a poor performance review. It is my responsibility to aggressively invite truthful feedback and appropriately consider what they say… This isn’t always easy, and I want to grow in this area. My reaction to the truth will greatly affect whether people follow through and tell me the truth when I ask for it.

Help me learn more… Do you prefer to hear the truth? What helps you respond well when someone “gives it to you straight”?

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Posted in learning and leading, life | Tagged appropriate response, growth, honesty, truth, truthful feedback | 5 Replies

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I’d much prefer to meet in a coffee shop – face to face – sharing life stories, struggles, questions, and hopes. For now, this blog is where our journeys meet.

MATURITAS is the word for "maturity" in Latin. Join me as we learn, lead, live, and love... growing to become more like Jesus. (Ephesians 4:13)

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