afraid of failure?

These crazy days have required all of us to adapt in more ways than we ever imagined. We are changing the ways we work, study, shop, travel, play, and interact with each other. However, when we attempt something in a new way, we often feel incompetent, inadequate, and a fear of failure due to our lack of experience.

I don’t like to fail.

At work, we talk a lot about establishing a culture where people feel free to fail. We want people to feel free to innovate and create and attempt things they have never tried before. Disappointingly, despite the desire and communications, we struggle to develop that kind of culture. As I’ve thought about this, I’ve decided that I cannot blame the organization or the leaders for the lack of freedom to fail.  

Failure carries a lot of negative weight.

A quick google search connects the word failure to others like mistakes, quitter, and lack of persistence, conviction, or discipline. Failure is also associated with a lack of thorough planning, fully thinking-it-through, or enough hard work.

With those negative implications, failure will never look appealing or acceptable. No matter how much freedom someone offers me, I do not want to fail.

On the other hand, I can iterate. I can attempt something, evaluate how it went, make corrections or adjustments, and then try again. That is not the same as failure. 

To iterate is simply to repeat. Iterative design involves three steps: formulate, test, evaluate. An iterative process gets closer to the desired result by repeating the effort with necessary improvements. And typically, the more iterations, the better the eventual outcome.

Iteration is positive, progressive, and steps toward the goal. 

Now when I think about trying something new, I think of it as an iteration. There is no pressure or expectation for getting it perfect the first time; it’s a first pass, an experiment. I anticipate evaluating, getting feedback, making changes, and improving the process. That feels like freedom. 

Words are powerful. Maybe changing our message from “free to fail” to “free to iterate” will lighten the load for some people. It might take away the fear of stepping up, leaning in, speaking out, creating, trying something. It could foster new ideas and unheard-of-before ways of doing things that provide answers to our challenges.

If not, I’m willing to iterate and try something else. 

How do you encourage innovation? What frees you to try new things?

 

Feeling like a hypocrite

Well… three weeks into my renewed blogging rhythm, focusing primarily on unhurried living… and I can’t keep up! Or – better said – I didn’t slow down enough to do what I said I would do. I was too busy, not sleeping enough, and too tired to sit and reflect and clearly express my thoughts.

Ever feel like a failure? Ever feel like a hypocrite?

My guess is that your answer is a resounding “YES!”

The truth is that none of us is perfect, and we often set unrealistic goals for ourselves and leave no margin for unexpected interruptions or changes of plans. Learning to live unhurried continues to be a work in progress for me – it will be for you too.

One strong motivator for me to continue on this journey is recognizing the impact of my choices – not just for me, but also for the others connected to me.

Mark Buchanan says, “My biggest regret in life… being in a hurry… getting to the next thing without fully entering the thing in front of me. I cannot think of a single advantage I’ve ever gained from being in a hurry. But a thousand broken and missed things, tens of thousands, lie in the wake of all that rushing.”

When I am doing well with unhurried living – or any other positive life choice, my attitude, energy, and interactions with others benefit also. I feel better about myself, and that improves the optimism, motivation, patience, and hope that I have and I reflect to others.

When I am not doing as well, I am typically more discouraged, frustrated, irritated, and ashamed. These attitudes inevitably get projected onto others through my critical spirit, impatience, withdrawal, and distracted interactions. I do not live in a bubble, and when I am not rested, refreshed, and at peace… others pay the price.

So, I am getting back on track today and looking forward to my reading time tomorrow. I’ll leave you with a great quote from a new book I started last Monday called “The Sacred Slow” by Alicia Britt Chole. I’ve just started it, but I liked it quite a bit already!

Ours is a hurried age in which speed is deified and waiting is demonized. 

Ours is a cluttered age in which noise is the norm and images constantly clamor for our attention. 

And in our hurried, cluttered age, faster has become synonymous with better, and experience has become a substitute for relationship.

The problem, however, is that faster experiences do not produce better relationships with people or with God.

How do you overcome feeling like a hypocrite and get back on track with your good goals?

What choices can you make today so that others benefit from your unhurried life?