What’s love got to do with it?


We are in the “love month” – a perfect opportunity to talk about how love and unhurried living intersect. What does love have to do with unhurried living? E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G.

Love has everything to do with unhurried living.

Our ability to love others well requires unhurried living. We demonstrate love through thoughtful intentionality, quality time, patience, focused attention, engaged listening, perseverance, and undistracted presence… all of which require a lack of hurry.

I do not love well when I hurry.

Some of the things I try to do to unhurry my time with others:

  • remember people are valuable
  • put my phone facedown and lock eyes with the person
  • ignore the to-do list in my head
  • breathe deeply and be present
  • remember all those times when someone took time to listen to me
  • stop multi-tasking or invite the person (child) to help
  • relax and enjoy the time together
  • If I am truly unavailable temporarily because of a deadline or lack of emotional bandwidth, ask to schedule a time as soon as possible
  • leave margin in my day for unexpected interruptions
  • trust that God is ultimately in control of what I do in a day
  • repeatedly read over this list

Love and hurry are fundamentally incompatible.

Living unhurried has all kinds of benefits for our health, our reflective thought processes, our decision-making, and our productivity. It only makes sense that unhurried living can also greatly benefit those we love. 

How can you unhurry your love for others this month?

Just drink your coffee.


I am an avid coffee lover. I first appreciated the aroma of coffee as a child. Each morning when my parents’ percolator bubbled as I entered the kitchen, it told me everything was well with the world.

I have progressively adjusted my taste – beginning in college with a milky, sugary-sweet, beverage; I have “matured” to being a fan of the strong, pure-black, nothing-added variety.

I especially relish the warmth of a full steamy mug in my hands, especially when it is cold… but even when it’s hot outside – a tip I learned living in tropical Costa Rica. The “Ticos” taught me a hot drink warming up your inside makes you feel cooler outside. 🙂 My many years in Latin America conditioned me to be able to drink coffee at all times of the day – caffeine rarely affects me.

I collect coffee mugs from all over the world. Even my blog boasts a coffee theme.

However, as much as I love my coffee…
I lose my enjoyment of my coffee when I hurry.

Maybe you prefer tea or coke over coffee. The principle is the same. We lose our enjoyment of many things when we are not fully engaged, when we are distracted, and when we are not focused. Conversations are forgotten, food becomes tasteless and people feel less valued.

Victoria Sweet, MD understands how hurry works. She wisely says:

“You don’t have to have your coffee and read the paper
and talk to someone and text. Just drink your coffee.”

Slow down. Take care of you. Take time to replenish.

Today, just drink your coffee.

Or try one of these:

  • listen to music or play your instrument
  • go on a walk
  • work in a garden
  • write a card or letter by hand or journal
  • be creative – paint, draw, craft, build something
  • go to a spa, get a massage, exercise

How would doing just one thing at a time increase your enjoyment of that experience today?

Do you have hurry sickness?


Have you got hurry sickness?

That has become a regular question in my home whenever anyone is impatient or irritated with another’s slowness. Sometimes I am asking myself. That is a rhetorical question! Some times I am asking my husband or someone else.

The symptoms have become all too familiar to us. We are more self-aware than we were years or even months ago. I’ve been told that self-awareness is a good thing, although sometimes I wish I was not so knowledgeable of my flaws and weaknesses.

Hurry is characterized by
continual rushing and hustle;
an overwhelming and continual sense of urgency and anxiousness.

As I have shared the message of unhurried living with others, some are quick to recognize and admit their own hurry sickness. Some are resistant to the idea, but become more convinced the more they think about it. Some people are VERY sick while others are less affected.


Do you…?

  • work extra hours or finish work at home
  • hear from people: “I don’t want to bother you because I know how busy you are”
  • get flustered with delays and interruptions
  • often exceed the speed limit or weave to find the fastest lane
  • skip vacations
  • feel like you are always in the slowest line

WATCH THIS:   Mice Queue Video (1:37)

No matter the gravity of the sickness, the side effects are serious, so the question is worth asking… Do you have hurry sickness?

In Search of Unhurried Living

465e0c04434ee9f0fe6f21d01fde706e slow downI could easily describe myself as a recovering “hurry-aholic”.

I have a model Type A personality and a very full life that could give me plenty of excuses for living at a consistently frenetic pace.

Over the years, however, I have been learning to s…l…o…w… d…o…w…n.

It hasn’t been easy, and I still struggle at times, but all-in-all I am generally much more relaxed and at peace with my life and others. (Maybe one of the reasons you haven’t heard from me here in a long while.)

I have found that many others – maybe you? – also struggle with “hurry sickness”. So I thought I might revive my writing and share some of the things I have learned to counter our hurried life.

Some of what I plan to share comes from a “31 Days of Unhurried Living” campaign I directed last Spring. I will also add in new thoughts and content from books I will be reading. In the next few months, I am going to take three hours each Monday morning to read –  my new personal application of Unhurried Living.

So… if hurry has ever been an issue for you, or if your outer life is slow, but you would like to unhurry your heart and soul, please join with me! It could make a difference.