tomatoes and timing

COVID made me a gardener. Well, not really, but since we were grounded from travel and spending more time at home, I have tried growing a few herbs and tomatoes on my back patio. In May, as part of my Mother’s Day gift, my family bought me some herbs for the planter box we are storing for my daughter.

All the herbs died. And the flowers.

So, we bought more.

And, those died too.

Bugs. Mold. Wilt. White fuzzy stuff under the leaves and on the stems.

Yuck and discouragement and frustration as I pulled out the dead plants over and over again. Even the between-the-herbs marigold plants died. I thought they grew anywhere.

I googled, and I sprayed natural remedies, and the herbs continued to die. The tomato plants survived, but they grew leaves and no fruit.

Social media posts showed me others celebrating huge baskets of fresh harvest.

I was ready to quit but decided to try one last time, asking the plant nursery expert for help. I took my dead plants back to the store. The kind lady looked at me sympathetically and my stack of plant ID tabs from all my dead plants and said, “Don’t buy any more plants right now. Wait a few weeks until it is cooler.”

So simple. Orlando’s sizzling summers are too hot for most herbs and tomatoes too. The Midwest growing season is not the same as in Florida. Waiting a few weeks changed EVERYTHING. My herbs are flourishing, and the tomato plants are bursting with soon-to-be-fruit yellow blossoms, and I have my first fledging sweet peppers growing on healthy plants!

TIMING made a huge difference.

I can’t help wondering how often timing affects other things I have attempted to do. When have I longed for something before its best season? How have I compared my efforts with others and anticipated the same results they had when they had them? How have I tried to “fix” something with a personal remedy that couldn’t overcome natural circumstances? When have I been impatient with a lack of growth and fruit in people’s lives? When have I been tempted to give up right before the situation was about to change and get better?

My little patio garden has been good for my soul during these past months – challenges, joys, lessons learned, even getting to enjoy fresh flavor additions to our meals. I’m glad I didn’t give up on those struggling plants.

In much the same way, I’m grateful God doesn’t give up on me. His guidance can prevent me from comparing my efforts with others, pushing too hard at the wrong time, or giving up too soon. I only need to ask.

Do you garden? What have you learned from your experience?

milestone birthday reflection

photo credit: Sofiya Levchenko on Unsplash

I celebrated my 60th a few weeks ago. I don’t feel a lot older, but I took full advantage and enjoyed the special festivities. My family all came together for a few days of getting away for island and everglades bike rides, beach relaxation, and dolphin-filled sunsets. Our time together has given me hundreds of photos and treasured memories.

I was also gifted a video collage summarizing encouraging, funny, and love-filled greetings sent by family and friends from all over the world and all my decades of life. I wept as I listened to the kind words and remembered the special moments when my life intersected with all those special people. I will re-watch that video many times.

The video prompted me to think about the years gone by and then to reflect on the last decade.

I’ve heard it said that we (way) overestimate what we can accomplish in a day
but (way) underestimate what we can accomplish in a year.

I think that phrase must be only more true when thinking about a decade. This year has been crazy, but it will likely not have the same intensity of impact when considered as part of the entire next decade.

I decided to take some time and reflect on the last decade. I looked through my calendar and photos, and wow, much has happened in my previous ten years. I made lists in my journal and drew out the more impact-filled events on a timeline to see a visual layout.

A sampling:

  • Completed MA in Global Leadership
  • Moved back to the US after almost 20 years living in Mexico
  • Grieved final goodbyes to all of our parents
  • Downsized and bought our “empty nester’s” townhome
  • Traveled to Canada, Chad, China, Israel, Kenya, Nigeria, Turkey, UK, Uzbekistan, Zimbabwe
  • Ran 1/2 marathon
  • Gained and lost a son-in-law (divorce)
  • Wrote and spoke on Unhurried Living
  • Children graduated from college – moved closer and farther away
  • Began to live with less toxins and more sustainability
  • Purchased first smartphone, Vaio & Surface computers, Apple watch
  • Started a blog 🙂

There are lots of changes in that list – fun times, travel, accomplishments. Lots of pain, weariness, grieving. Somewhere in those ten years, I watched the movie “Inside Out” and learned the profound truth that joy and sadness sit at the same table. I am learning to be ok living in that reality.

Some of the experiences were mine; some were primarily others’ stories that affected mine. We don’t live in an isolated bubble. When we love and care deeply for others, their journeys weave interdependently into ours.

I have learned much in these years. I have new passions, new concerns, new ways of doing things. I am healthier and more involved in the well-being of the world around me.

I am not the same person I was ten years ago – not even close. My eyes are open to things I never wanted to know. My heart is tender to people I never considered before. I am broken in ways I never expected and also more resilient than I could have hoped or imagined. I am grateful for those changes, but I have paid a steep price for that growth.

I am more aware of my fragileness and the short time I have left on this earth. I am more intentional about how I spend my time and how I treat the people God brings across my path. I sense a genuine urgency to invest my energy and past experiences well – believing that tomorrow is not guaranteed – I only have today for sure – and I want to treasure that time.

Reflection has been good for my soul. It brings me gratitude and perspective and wisdom. I trust the scars and precious memories will guide my future choices and next steps. I know only too well that not everyone gets to celebrate this milestone, and I am very thankful for the years I’ve had.

What have you done to reflect and process a past year or decade?