These last months have been very heavy for me – first my mom’s death and now helping with care-giving for my dad with Parkinson’s. This post speaks my heart so well. So grateful for this woman’s ability to express words my pen has not been able to write.
I was skimming some other dementia blogs lately and a reader had written in saying, that though she felt guilty about it, she wished her mother would die in her sleep and not have to continue living through the pain and indignity of dementia. I’ve heard others say things like, “I’ve told my kids if I ever get Alzheimer’s just shoot me.”
I understand where these comments are coming from, but they make my heart heavy. I feel like these attitudes devalue my Mom’s life right now. Even though they are not specifically referencing her, they are in effect saying that people like her are better off dead. It is hard to see Mom changing and confused and upset. But she still has sweet times of love and joy, too. And God still has a purpose for her life.
He is growing our patience as we care for her. He…
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I think the thing that struck me the most was that was that we need to pray and ask God to help us in dealing with those we love who are challenged with AD or dementia. It made me wonder when I was given the authority to determine who was worth living, whose lives were valued and valuable. Nobody chooses AD. Nobody asks to have severe memory issues or personality changes. But when it happens, I want to be that person who loves well, who is patient, who is letting God work through me to grow me in the process. Thanks for sharing this, Ter.
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Thanks, dear friend! Yes, I definitely lean heavily on God whenever I am caring for my Dad. I am challenged to recognize that I should have that God-dependent attitude with all folks in my life. Loving well, patience, and growth would surely show up with more power!
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