supermom doesn’t live here

I have no delusion of having been a supermom… 🙂

My husband and I have determined that we will never be ones to write the “How to…” parenting book.  The other day, however, a new friend asked me for a few tips about parenting young ones, and I quickly thought of a few things that helped me enjoy the process. I hope they might be an encouragement to you…

1. dynamic walk with the Lord… I just couldn’t ever make sense of the daily struggles and sacrifices, contrasting opinions and peer pressure, if I wasn’t secure in Him. Time with Him was often just snatches of desperate pleas for help during the day, but I realized that when – although I didn’t always get it – I longed for time with Him, I was probably doing OK.

2. investment in my marriage: Conferences, counseling, regular (every week) dates, communication, getaways…  so essential and very worth it for us to stay connected as partners! We loved parenting, but we always understood that our marriage was a priority, and we made time for us. Now that the kids are almost all moved out, we are really looking forward to being together – just the two of us – not dreading it or wondering what we will do without the kids around.

3. with #1 and #2, reflect on and choose what works for YOU and YOUR family! I am not a “kid’s world” person, so I needed time with adults each week. I loved being involved with the university ministry – discipling and mentoring, and involving our kids. I also home-schooled for many years and loved it. I have the gift of leadership and always led side-by-side with my husband. I used a lot of organization and structure to make life “livable” for me. Living in a foreign culture, I had help with cleaning and cooking. (I still don’t do much of that!) BUT… that worked for ME… each woman and marriage is different… God’s incredible creativity isn’t limited to creation… it is available for each marriage and family also. It is available for you!

4. last, but related to #3… do what YOU need to do to get refreshed… I spent so many years feeling guilty because I thought I “should” want to dress up and go out to a fancy dinner for a date, when I really preferred to lay out in the sun and read/discuss a book with my husband… or go to a yard sale… or run by myself… coffee dates with friends and women’s Bible study groups were also great for me. My recharge is not the same as others – I finally figured out that was ok…

I was so encouraged that my friend was asking questions, because asking questions is the first step to finding the way in a very complex and challenging life… May God bless you on your journey!

What are you doing to enjoy the process? Are there some other “tips” you would suggest as an encouragement to others?

6 thoughts on “supermom doesn’t live here

  1. Love #3. It’s so important to BE who GOD made you rather than trying to fit into the box someone in the world thinks you should fit into. I loved the book “Rocking the Roles”. Haven’t read it for years, but it was such an important book those first couple of years we were married. That and “Understanding Your God Given Gifts” by Don & Kate Fortune. You can’t be who your husband and children need you to be until you learn to be comfortable being who GOD needs you to be. Loved the post!!

    • Cathy! Thanks so much for stopping by to read and comment! I will definitely look up the books you mentioned – I still have so much to learn! Thanks for the encouragement! Much love to you and your wonderful family!

  2. Terry…I’m almost crying as I’m reading your blog! I’m so thankful that you are willing to share all those things that you think might not be worth sharing. Since I got married and moved to Pennsylvania last year, I have been missing my friends and longing for a mentor. Your blog will help me in both of those areas. Thank you!

    • … and YOU make my day visiting and letting me know that my ramblings might be helpful! Please subscribe and stay in touch… this is my simple way to be a “virtual” mentor – at least til God allows our paths to cross again! Much love to you, friend!

  3. Great advice Terry! Don’t be surprised if I, yet again, share your wisdom on my blog too! 🙂 Love you guys!

What do you think? Qué piensas?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s