This past week, I heard various song lyrics that intoned, “I wanna fly!” I began to think about the desires I have to accomplish goals, fulfill a dream, or take on an adventure. I have plenty of ideas, but many times I get in my own way. I have learned that often I have to stop doing some things before I can start moving forward.

STOP judging

I don’t like being judged by people who don’t really know me: my marriage, my children, or my situation…  I don’t believe there is only one right way for all people to make it through this world, although sometimes I act like my way is the only way. There is such incredible creativity and diversity in people; judgmental, critical opinions are often completely erroneous because they come from an incomplete, only-from-the-outside perspective. If I don’t want others to judge me, I need to work at not judging others either.

STOP comparing

Often my worst enemy is myself. I compare myself to a phantom superwoman in my mind, created by uniting the best pieces of each hero I admire: my very capable boss, my creatively gifted neighbor, my compassionate caring friend, my genius intelligent mentor, my athletically chiseled trainer. My invented super-phantom is nonexistent in real life. I need to live in this world’s reality, not longingly covet a dream fantasy.

STOP holding back

At times, everyone feels inadequate in front of challenges and fearful of change. Thanks to some incredibly supportive family and friends, I have come to understand that I have a “voice” to share, and I have skills and experience to offer. No one else is just like me. If I hold back, someone misses out on my unique contribution… whether that is at home, in a friendship or at work. I want to add value to relationships and projects… I have to step out and speak up to do that.

STOP whining

One thing that frustrates me is a victim mindset, blaming someone else for lack of progress, relationships, income or any other thing desired but not attained. As much as I declare my opposition to this attitude, an honest self-evaluation proves that I blame others too… those that don’t follow me hamper my leadership, those who don’t respect me limit my effectiveness, those who don’t like me are why the friendship ends. Excuses are empty. I simply need to commit to doing and giving my best in every situation… and take responsibility for the results.

If I want to move forward… if “I wanna fly”, I will need to STOP doing these things first.

What do you need to STOP doing in order to move forward with your goals, dreams and adventures?