a heart in turmoil

rainy window saneej-kallingal-6EQYQewfOH0-unsplash

Photo credit: Saneej Kallingal on Unsplash

Many months ago, I felt the weight of the many divisions and verbal attacks I was seeing and hearing on my communications platforms. I wanted to create a resource to help us learn how to truly listen to each other, communicate well, seek understanding, respectfully accept differences, and embrace the diversity of ideas, opinions, cultures, and personalities that make up our beautiful world.

I never found the time or the emotional energy to pull it off – and then COVID hit, and we were all focused on surviving a pandemic. The timing did not seem right.

Recently, my heart has been shattered anew by vocal spokespersons unknown to me and dear beloved friends who have passionately been sharing their differing opinions in judgmental, polarized, and hurtful ways.

I am earnestly searching for truth and breakthrough, enduring answers to the heartbreaking loss of life, the systemic problems and injustices, and the lack of unity in our country and our world. I am searching my heart for sinful attitudes and complicity in those wrongs and sincerely listening to a multitude of voices who have experiences that differ from my own. I believe them, and my heart breaks at their pain. I am learning new ways to engage, advocate, and support those who need my help.

I am very concerned about responses that flippantly deny another’s reality, over-harsh reactions that are full of hate and violence, disrespectful and derogatory judgment of whole categories of people, commercial and political agendas that prefer to instigate people to damaging harm rather than encourage the deep, thoughtful, excruciatingly-hard-work conversations and reforms that would genuinely serve people, right wrongs, and improve and benefit our country and world.

There is no easy fix for our mess. There are no easy solutions.
Our past, present, and our future are full of broken people who do horrible things AND full of brave, compassionate people who help make things better. 

My heart longs for a community that comprehends our need to listen, communicate, and work together to benefit all. That humbly admits that we do not know everything, we are not always right, and willingly offers to learn, grow, and change. I am urgently seeking those people who acknowledge our need to ask for and offer forgiveness, who accept the messy and the uncomfortable and the awkward. And who will create and implement laws, policies, and processes that bring a safer, healthier, more just way of life for each person – all the while recognizing and sacrificially entering the immense complexity and the heart-wrenching agony of the process ahead.

More than anything, I think I am looking for love.

Love for and from all sides.

Love as the foundation of all we desire and desperately need to do.

Is it possible?

I do not always bring that myself. I want to.

Only my faith in supernatural, Jesus-empowered grace gives me strength and hope.

How is your heart in the middle of this mess?  How do you bring people together?

5 thoughts on “a heart in turmoil

  1. Your passion and honesty focus on our reality–we are miserably broken, and this will not be an easy fix. People don’t want to listen. They want to hurt back because they’ve been hurt. You’re so right–their experiences are real, and I don’t understand most of them. But listening, working together, and a powerful faith in a powerful God will be the only possibilities of change. I hurt with you, my friend.

  2. Terry, my heart is broken as well, and not knowing how to respond to those who add to the pain with uncaring, insensitive and uninformed words. I’m seeking more ways to connect with neighbors around me. Listening well and learning. Miss you.

    • Miss you too. Steve and I drove to the beach the other day and thought of you and Dean having had your time in the condo. Such peace at the beach – soothes my soul a bit. I know you will do a great job listening to and loving on people. Praying for you as you lean into those friendships and relationships.

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